[Mirrors around the Garden come to life all at once, featuring a little girl with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face. She giggles mischeviously.] Yay, I escaped my bed time!

[As she takes a better look around, her face falls deathly serious in that way only small children can achieve. After a moment, she whines.] You guys! This place is boring! You've had sooo much time to make it fun! Look, just get some dirt from the wild places and make a wish. [Huffing.] Grownups have no imagination.

It's a good thing you have me around. I made all those boring stupid houses are much better! Try making stuff like that from now on, okay?

[Beaming.] Have fun!

[OOC: The Necessities have settled down! Characters will now find nine fixed places for their needs. ...Only they've all turned into giant playhouses, big LEGO houses, and vast bouncy castles.]

[A cheerful woman, dressed in lavish royal blue robes, is grinning on camera]

Why, hello everyone. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Iono Mito Archeline. My interests include various maidenly amusments, tea time, flirtatious chit chat, and you. <3 Yes. you, whoever you may be. You see, I know without a doubt each and every one of you is special and beautiful, and I want to know you better.

So, please, won't you be my sobame?

This sucks. I can't believe I'm spending my Christmas in an empty room with a psychobitch midget. I don't care what freakish parallel dimension you're from, it is not okay to give guns to twelve-tear-olds unless you're watching them. And I'm not playing baby-sitter.

At least the gods of fucking my life up decided to give us some food, finally. I mean, no food, and no Cheerios practice? I feel dead already.

And Britt, Merry Christmas. That is, if you haven't been eaten by shadow demon things.

[There's fumbling on Taiga's end, as if she hasn't realised it's recording yet]

Stupid place, I'll snatch those birds out of the sky and have Ryuuj-- ...Hnn.  I bet he's not even taking advantage of being able to talk to Minorin, that stupid mongrel.  Do I have to do everything for him?

...

A, ah?!  I, i, it heard me?  Oi!  If you're my captor, you better... you better let me out before I rip your limbs off, one by one!  Yes, you'll make a delicious soup, and I'll feed the extra to the dogs.  And give me back my clothes, this dress is disgusting!

Calm down. Calm down, Ami! You have this under control. I-

[notices that the Vine is ready for her input, and she clears her throat softly to speak]

H-hello, everyone! Ami's having a little trouble understanding the situation. This- this is surely some kind of prank?

I'm talking to a plant. This is so stupid. But what other choice do I have?

It's really clever! Ami hasn't been tricked so well in a long time.

[A pause. This just can't be real. And she stomps away from the Vine to cool off for a second.]

[The mirror pops into view, flickers a few times, then reveals the Queen of Hearts once again, still against a dark background. This time, there's a holly wreath perched atop her hair.]

I'm sorry I haven't had the time to listen to all your helpful suggestions, darlings! It turns out creating a world is hard work...ahahaha, who knew?

Besides, I'm feeling a bit...

[She trails off, looking absently to the side, then quickly readjusts her wreath and continues.]

Anyway! One of my less tame incarna has shown her face, has she? I may not like her attitude, but I think she had a good idea this time. There are so many ways to enjoy this season, but this might be the best!

Now, I have work to do. At this rate, the whole place will fall down around my ears while I'm working on opening the dungeons...ah, it's enough to drive a girl crazy!

[And the mirror shrivels back up. But the mistletoe, that remains, wherever you are...]

[OOC: The Queen won't be replying to comments directed at her (she is, like she said, busy), but this post is free to be used for general mistletoe antics and mingling so that everyone who wants to make use of the mistletoe doesn't have to make a whole post.]

[Private thoughts, hackable if you can read her mood]

For all the holes I could point out in the Warrior Princess's reasoning...why didn't I keep investigating on my own? At the first remotely plausible suggestion from one of the kidnappers, I just sat back and followed orders. Used the meager tools I was given for tiny, insignificant comforts instead of continuing to look at the big picture.

That's not happening again.

[/Private]

[Public, Audio, intended to be filtered from NPCs]

I understand a few people have traveled to the boundaries of the Garden and returned. I'd appreciate any information you have to give, as well as volunteers for some reconnaissance-in-force. I'll be leading an expedition to determine details of the border areas and try to find any unguarded and traversible paths that may exist, as well as bringing back more samples of the strange matter there should we fail to find an exit.



Even if I have to go alone, it's time we forced some detailed answers out of this place.

*somebody was quick to get her things and figure out the function of the vine*

Iono-sama, kidnapping is illegal.

*Arge wouldn't put it past Iono to start calling herself Queen of Hearts...*