queenofheartsrp | 001 | Yes, It's the End of the World As We Know It

Entry tags:

001 | Yes, It's the End of the World As We Know It | Audio/Visual

[A young woman's voice echoes over the Vine first. IN fact, it sounds almost exactly like that of someone else the residents have heard from recently. A shrill note of panic has managed to worm its way into her voice, though.]

What is this place? Where-? How-?

[After a moment the mirror comes on. It's Asuka! Or her doppelganger. The only real difference is that she has a swathe of bandages covering her right arm and another tied tightly around her head, covering her left eye. The one that is visible is bright, blue, alert and almost panicked. Her uncovered hand reaches out toward the mirror.]

This isn't right! I was just-

I was-

[Her eye widens slightly.]

Oh my God. I-

[She chokes, retches and she sinks out of sight for a moment, hand covering her mouth. The rather unpleasant sound of someone losing their lunch is all that can be heard for a few moments, gasps for air and then more retching.]

I feel sick.

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Just my plugsuit.

_{[Which feels weird and wrong and off and comforting at the same time.]}

I'll look around. Maybe... Er. Maybe one of these cats can help me.

_{[She feels so silly saying it like that.]}

... Alright.

[doesn't want to think too much about why asuka only has her plugsuit.]

I can come along, if that's okay. I haven't been able to look around that much either... and it'd be nice to see you.

Yeah!

_{[She's just a bit too enthusiastic.]}

Yeah. It'll be nice to see you again.

Yeah... it will.

[smiles.]

Why don't we meet at the edge of the ruins? Just head up to where those ruined buildings are, and I'll be there soon.

Sounds good! See you there, Hikari.

_{[And the edge of despair and exhaustion in her voice eases up a little. Things don't look quite so horrible.]}

Alright, Asuka!

[things always seem better when your friends are here. she'll be at the edge of the ruins in around a couple of minutes, her hair in a low ponytail and finally wearing slightly warm clothes. she brought a jacket along for asuka.]

_{[Asuka is how she's always been - although in this case, her hair is loose and her arm and eye are still covered in bandages. She hasn't made an effort to remove them yet. Her plugsuit and A-10 clips are hugged tightly against her chest and when she finally sees Hikari, her smile is strained.]}

Hey, Hikari!

_{[It's still a relief to see her, though. A familiar face is most definitely welcome.]}

[when Hikari sees Asuka, she falters a bit when she sees the bandages again. seeing them in person is a little scary. she seems alright besides that, though...]

Hey Asuka! Here [holds out the jacket for Asuka.], it's kind of cold in most places because of the blizzard we had for a couple of days.

_{[Clothing! Asuka takes the jacket and slips it on, although she struggles with the bandaged arm for a few moments.]}

...that'd explain the snow. Thanks, Hikari.

_{[She settles her weight awkwardly, not sure what to say or do.]}

It's... It's good to see you again.

_{[After she'd left Tokyo-3. After Asuka's failure. One of the last times they'd been together, Asuka had broken down in front of her friend and that memory was still sharp and fresh.]}

[hikari watches her while she struggles, making sure she doesn't need to help her with that. she knows Asuka has a lot of pride.]

You're welcome... It's really nice to see you again, too.

[she remembers that too, and the awkward feeling seeps in... she's met other Asuka that she doesn't know is other Asuka, so she's seen her, in a way. but now it's Asuka fresh from the Third Impact.]

... Where do you want to go first? I can tell you a little about this place while we get to wherever we head out to.

_{[She finally gets the jacket on and shrugs, zipping it up.]}

I don't know... Wherever. Just away from here.

[her eyes flicker upward for a second, as she thinks. finally, she decides on something, and she looks at Asuka.]

Here, we can go to the orchards. It's where people get most of their food, and I should get some for us to eat... If you're okay with eating right now. [remembers those vomiting sounds.]

I... don't think I want to eat right now.

_{[She slips her hands into the pockets of the jacket and smiles at Hikari.]}

I'll... I just want to walk for a while.

_{[And try to forget.]}

[smiles back at her. forgetting is always a good plan. she takes a few steps forward, and then turns back to her.]

Okay. Let's walk for a while, then, Asuka.

[waits for Asuka to follow.]

_{[And follow she does! It's chilly, but she endures. It helps take her mind off of things.]}

How've you been? I haven't seen you since you left Tokyo-3!

[after Hikari's introduction to freezing with blizzard time, this is actually manageable somewhat.]

I've been doing alright... it was weird, having to move somewhere else. But I took care of PenPen for Misato-san, and my sisters and dad were with me.

[her voice takes on an amused edge she can only get when she's around her family or friends.]

It was even weirder trying to get used to this place.

Seems like it. Talking through mirrors...?

_{[They're both glossing over the in-between part.]}

...I did OK back in Tokyo-3. I had to keep Shinji and Ayanami in line, of course!

_{[So not going into her breakdown.]}

Yeah, that was so weird. Especially since it was a mirror that came out of a vine, which was something I learned from a scroll I got from a cat.

[skipping over the parts that neither of them want to retread.]

... Mm, that's what I thought you'd be up to. Someone needs to keep after one of the Three Stooges. It was difficult enough with just Suzuharu and Aida-kun.

Yeah! Especially Toji-

_{[Ulp. Well, there's that unpleasant memory. As much as she'd been annoyed by the other kid, she'd never really wanted him to lose a leg.]}

Yeah. I did fine.

_{[She perhaps emphasizes the word "fine" a bit too much.]}

[her eyes flicker with a deep sorrow when Asuka stops on Suzuharu's name. not just what happened to him because of the Angel. but also because he's- the sorrow lifts from her eyes after a moment. forces a small, sad smile while looking forward, only concentrating on the sound of their footsteps.]

Yeah, especially Suzuharu.

[tilts her gaze towards Asuka, the smile a tiny bit more genuine, though it's still sad and doesn't make it to her eyes.]

I know you did.

[ooc: ashbsk sorry this took longer than it should have. I rewatched ep. 23 for that scene with them while writing this comment.]

Edited 2010-12-28 19:56 (UTC)

_{[She drags to a halt, staring at her feet. She can't shake the feelings of inadequacy, of failure. And she can blame Shinji all she likes for not being there, for not helping her, but that doesn't change the fact that she lost. That she and her Eva, her mother, were-

She dry heaves and turns away, covering her mouth as she remembers the feeling of being torn apart. The fear, the anger, the pain. She shouldn't be alive. And Asuka feels ashamed for acting like this in front of Hikari. She should be strong (and she remembers the night in Hikari's bed, the tears and the reassurances which she didn't really believe).]}

I'm so...

_{[She hates herself and she hates everyone else for not supporting her, for not loving her.]}

God, I'm worthless.

_{[[OOC: No problem. :>]]}

Edited 2010-12-28 20:24 (UTC)

[sees Asuka stop, and halts her steps too. she sees a glimpse of her friend's face as she gags and turns to the side. half a step towards her - worried she'll throw up again.]

Asu-?

[she hears those words, and feels the distance between them. the same distance that night when Asuka spoke from some deep, unknown place inside her, and all Hikari could do was say what she thought was comforting, what she thought was true. but that thread of sorrow they shared now - death - made her unable to just say words this time. hesitantly, she lifts her hand up and rests it on Asuka's shoulder.]

... You're not.

[[ooc: Alright! :)]]

Edited 2010-12-28 21:14 (UTC)

_{[Asuka huddles in on herself for a moment. It's only Hikari. She's said things like this to Hikari before - it doesn't make it hurt any less or stop her from hating herself for being weak, but it makes it manageable. ]}

I couldn't even do my stupid job. What I was raised to do!

_{[She squeezes her eye shut and tries to choke back on the familiar tightness. She told herself she'd never cry again.]}

[her hand tightens comfortingly on Asuka's shoulder as she listens, hoping that somehow she can help. help Asuka. help herself. help them both. there were many people here, but only the two of them right now - three of them if Ayanami-san could ever show something she could connect to - could honestly get the impact of it this deep, she believed. she didn't know for certain that was the reality.]

You took out so many Angels, Asuka. You protected everyone from so much.. It isn't your fault!... And... it scares me, honestly; that you're blaming yourself for any of it.

[it comes out more and shakily towards the end, her hand on Asuka's shoulder trembling, and she feels like she's going to going to cry, but she said it. even if Asuka doesn't believe her, it feels honest to Hikari right now.]

_{[A tear trickles down her cheek and she has to fight to stop herself from sobbing. Everything that's happened to over the last few hours; over the last few months, is coming to a head. She runs her hand through her hair. Hikari doesn't blame her. But why would she? She didn't see Asuka's failure herself. She doesn't realize how hard Asuka has to work just to make sure she isn't left alone again.]}

I hate this place.

_{[It's a petulant, child-like declaration, but she indulges it. It makes her feel better, if only a little.]}

And I should blame myself. I'm the one who messed up. I let myself rely on Shinji and on everyone else when I should've been relying on myself.

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