ext_229852 (
redheadcarrier.livejournal.com) wrote in
queenofheartsrp2010-12-27 12:04 pm
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Entry tags:
- ! audio,
- ! video,
- † anna lin | hotshot_momma,
- † asuka langley shikinami | likeabossuka,
- † asuka langley soryu | redheadcarrier,
- † azula | burns_things,
- † estelle | readitinabook,
- † etna | ultimatedessert,
- † franziska von karma | whipcracks,
- † hikari horaki | orderlybento,
- † noi | thetrueblow,
- † rei ayanami | yourmother,
- † rei hino | marsmakeup,
- † utena tenjou | revolutionized,
- † yukari yakumo | border_phantasm
001 | Yes, It's the End of the World As We Know It | Audio/Visual
[A young woman's voice echoes over the Vine first. IN fact, it sounds almost exactly like that of someone else the residents have heard from recently. A shrill note of panic has managed to worm its way into her voice, though.]
What is this place? Where-? How-?
[After a moment the mirror comes on. It's Asuka! Or her doppelganger. The only real difference is that she has a swathe of bandages covering her right arm and another tied tightly around her head, covering her left eye. The one that is visible is bright, blue, alert and almost panicked. Her uncovered hand reaches out toward the mirror.]
This isn't right! I was just-
I was-
[Her eye widens slightly.]
Oh my God. I-
[She chokes, retches and she sinks out of sight for a moment, hand covering her mouth. The rather unpleasant sound of someone losing their lunch is all that can be heard for a few moments, gasps for air and then more retching.]
I feel sick.
What is this place? Where-? How-?
[After a moment the mirror comes on. It's Asuka! Or her doppelganger. The only real difference is that she has a swathe of bandages covering her right arm and another tied tightly around her head, covering her left eye. The one that is visible is bright, blue, alert and almost panicked. Her uncovered hand reaches out toward the mirror.]
This isn't right! I was just-
I was-
[Her eye widens slightly.]
Oh my God. I-
[She chokes, retches and she sinks out of sight for a moment, hand covering her mouth. The rather unpleasant sound of someone losing their lunch is all that can be heard for a few moments, gasps for air and then more retching.]
I feel sick.
Re: [action]
[Ulp. Well, there's that unpleasant memory. As much as she'd been annoyed by the other kid, she'd never really wanted him to lose a leg.]
Yeah. I did fine.
[She perhaps emphasizes the word "fine" a bit too much.]
[action]
Yeah, especially Suzuharu.
[tilts her gaze towards Asuka, the smile a tiny bit more genuine, though it's still sad and doesn't make it to her eyes.]
I know you did.
[ooc: ashbsk sorry this took longer than it should have. I rewatched ep. 23 for that scene with them while writing this comment.]
[action]
She dry heaves and turns away, covering her mouth as she remembers the feeling of being torn apart. The fear, the anger, the pain. She shouldn't be alive. And Asuka feels ashamed for acting like this in front of Hikari. She should be strong (and she remembers the night in Hikari's bed, the tears and the reassurances which she didn't really believe).]
I'm so...
[She hates herself and she hates everyone else for not supporting her, for not loving her.]
God, I'm worthless.
[[OOC: No problem. :>]]
[action]
Asu-?
[she hears those words, and feels the distance between them. the same distance that night when Asuka spoke from some deep, unknown place inside her, and all Hikari could do was say what she thought was comforting, what she thought was true. but that thread of sorrow they shared now - death - made her unable to just say words this time. hesitantly, she lifts her hand up and rests it on Asuka's shoulder.]
... You're not.
[[ooc: Alright! :)]]
[action]
I couldn't even do my stupid job. What I was raised to do!
[She squeezes her eye shut and tries to choke back on the familiar tightness. She told herself she'd never cry again.]
[action]
You took out so many Angels, Asuka. You protected everyone from so much.. It isn't your fault!... And... it scares me, honestly; that you're blaming yourself for any of it.
[it comes out more and shakily towards the end, her hand on Asuka's shoulder trembling, and she feels like she's going to going to cry, but she said it. even if Asuka doesn't believe her, it feels honest to Hikari right now.]
[action]
I hate this place.
[It's a petulant, child-like declaration, but she indulges it. It makes her feel better, if only a little.]
And I should blame myself. I'm the one who messed up. I let myself rely on Shinji and on everyone else when I should've been relying on myself.
[action]
This place isn't safe, and it isn't home... We're alive though, in some way.
[that last part makes her lose hold for a moment. everyone's gone. Asuka's her friend. she can't lose her again. no. she can't.]
What's wrong with relying on people you care about, Asuka?
[action]
Yeah. Alive. Somehow.
[She remembers a beach and fingers on her throat, but she's not going to mention that. It was probably just a part of her hallucination during Third Impact.]
I should be strong enough on my own. So people... so people...
[Will look at her. Will notice her. Will love her for being her.]
[action]
... You are strong, Asuka. But... having someone to help you out sometimes, when you do need it, that's important.
[These words would be less desperate, less likely to be said out loud if she didn't know that back home there was nothing more to do.]
[action]
But... then I'll still be alone. Because no one will look at me and see me without them.
[It's a raw, deep admission of insecurity. Probably one she'll regret.]
[action]
That's what happens sometimes, when you have people who see you as something that's only a little part of who you actually are.
There are people who can see all of you, though. I know there are.
[action]
I... It's different! I just... I have to make it my own or I'm not going to be worth anything.
[She turns toward Hikari and after a moment of staring, gives her an awkward, one-armed hug. They're alone. No one else has to know about this.]
[action]
... I'm sorry. You are worth something, Asuka.
[Your jacket might get a little wet, Asuka. Sorry about that.]
Re: [action]
Asuka herself is feeling a host of conflicting emotions - relief that Hikari is here for her to lean on, anger and guilt directed at herself for needing Hikari to lean on in the first place, despair at the hopeless situation she just found herself yanked out of. Confusion. Frustration. The relief and comfort wins out (temporarily) in the end and for a few more long moments, she clings to Hikari. She's an island of stability and familiarity at the moment.]
Just don't tell anyone about this.
[action]
I won't, promise.
[action]
[It's really all she can say to that. It's sort of OK with Hikari - it doesn't stop the guilt or anger, but it does help her deal with it. She reluctantly loosens her grip and wipes at her eye with her hand.]
...what is this place, anyway? I heard it was the Garden.
[When in doubt, change the subject.]
[action]
Mm, yeah, it's called the Gardens. Apparently only girls are brought here.
Re: [action]
[She sighs and brushes hair out of her face. Try to get back to normalcy. Or as normal as she can get right now.]
At least I don't have to deal with Ikari anymore.
[action]
[starts trying to rub off some of her tears with the back of her hand.]
The person behind the Gardens names herself the Queen of Hearts.
[action]
A Queen? What is this, the Dark Ages?
[action]
This place might be. But I've actually seen technology here, even if it's pretty limited.
[action]
[Asuka tilts her head back to look up at the sky.]
...I sorta feel like this is all a dream. You know?
[action]
[looks at Asuka looking at the sky.]
This is probably not the best time to mention that there's magic involved, huh?
[action]
[Asuka started to form a loud objection; magic didn't exist. Of course, neither should guides that cat you, this garden, mirros that let you talk through vines a few other things she'd seen since she arrived.]
...I guess it makes sense.
[action]
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