queenofheartsrp | 001 | Yes, It's the End of the World As We Know It

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001 | Yes, It's the End of the World As We Know It | Audio/Visual

[A young woman's voice echoes over the Vine first. IN fact, it sounds almost exactly like that of someone else the residents have heard from recently. A shrill note of panic has managed to worm its way into her voice, though.]

What is this place? Where-? How-?

[After a moment the mirror comes on. It's Asuka! Or her doppelganger. The only real difference is that she has a swathe of bandages covering her right arm and another tied tightly around her head, covering her left eye. The one that is visible is bright, blue, alert and almost panicked. Her uncovered hand reaches out toward the mirror.]

This isn't right! I was just-

I was-

[Her eye widens slightly.]

Oh my God. I-

[She chokes, retches and she sinks out of sight for a moment, hand covering her mouth. The rather unpleasant sound of someone losing their lunch is all that can be heard for a few moments, gasps for air and then more retching.]

I feel sick.

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[her hand tightens comfortingly on Asuka's shoulder as she listens, hoping that somehow she can help. help Asuka. help herself. help them both. there were many people here, but only the two of them right now - three of them if Ayanami-san could ever show something she could connect to - could honestly get the impact of it this deep, she believed. she didn't know for certain that was the reality.]

You took out so many Angels, Asuka. You protected everyone from so much.. It isn't your fault!... And... it scares me, honestly; that you're blaming yourself for any of it.

[it comes out more and shakily towards the end, her hand on Asuka's shoulder trembling, and she feels like she's going to going to cry, but she said it. even if Asuka doesn't believe her, it feels honest to Hikari right now.]

_{[A tear trickles down her cheek and she has to fight to stop herself from sobbing. Everything that's happened to over the last few hours; over the last few months, is coming to a head. She runs her hand through her hair. Hikari doesn't blame her. But why would she? She didn't see Asuka's failure herself. She doesn't realize how hard Asuka has to work just to make sure she isn't left alone again.]}

I hate this place.

_{[It's a petulant, child-like declaration, but she indulges it. It makes her feel better, if only a little.]}

And I should blame myself. I'm the one who messed up. I let myself rely on Shinji and on everyone else when I should've been relying on myself.

[she feels herself crying silently, tears making wet tracks while she keeps a numb hold on her composure, feeling the shaking of a shoulder under her hand from Asuka trying to do the same.]

This place isn't safe, and it isn't home... We're alive though, in some way.

[that last part makes her lose hold for a moment. everyone's gone. Asuka's her friend. she can't lose her again. no. she can't.]

What's wrong with relying on people you care about, Asuka?

Edited 2010-12-28 23:23 (UTC)

_{[She tries to laugh, mostly so she doesn't cry anymore. Hikari is here and that has to count for something, right? Hikari won't forget about her.]}

Yeah. Alive. Somehow.

_{[She remembers a beach and fingers on her throat, but she's not going to mention that. It was probably just a part of her hallucination during Third Impact.]}

I should be strong enough on my own. So people... so people...

_{[Will look at her. Will notice her. Will love her for being her.]}

[Asuka responded to her. It's a relief, even if it's small, and she gets back her composure for the moment. Her eyes are stinging and she's got a dull ache in her head from crying.]

... You are strong, Asuka. But... having someone to help you out sometimes, when you do need it, that's important.

[These words would be less desperate, less likely to be said out loud if she didn't know that back home there was nothing more to do.]

_{[Asuka sniffles and (somehow) hopes that Hikari won't notice; won't judge her as Asuka judges herself. The arm on her shoulder - as much as part of her hates herself for the realization - is helpful; a show of support.]}

But... then I'll still be alone. Because no one will look at me and see me without them.

_{[It's a raw, deep admission of insecurity. Probably one she'll regret.]}

[Hikari's quiet as she thinks.]

That's what happens sometimes, when you have people who see you as something that's only a little part of who you actually are.

There are people who can see all of you, though. I know there are.

_{[It's not much of a reassurance to Asuka. She has a lot of self-hate and self-image issues to work through. But it's Hikari and she's trying. Hell, just having Hikari around does make her feel better. She swipes at her eye angrily, trying to stop herself from crying.]}

I... It's different! I just... I have to make it my own or I'm not going to be worth anything.

_{[She turns toward Hikari and after a moment of staring, gives her an awkward, one-armed hug. They're alone. No one else has to know about this.]}

[She's about to say something in response as Asuka turns to look at her, and the words die in her throat. What is she-? When she hugs her, Hikari is so stunned she can only return the hug - with care to not hurt her bandaged arm - for a little while.]

... I'm sorry. You are worth something, Asuka.

[Your jacket might get a little wet, Asuka. Sorry about that.]

_{[Well, so might Hikari's at this point. No biggie.

Asuka herself is feeling a host of conflicting emotions - relief that Hikari is here for her to lean on, anger and guilt directed at herself for needing Hikari to lean on in the first place, despair at the hopeless situation she just found herself yanked out of. Confusion. Frustration. The relief and comfort wins out (temporarily) in the end and for a few more long moments, she clings to Hikari. She's an island of stability and familiarity at the moment.]}

_{Just don't tell anyone about this.}

[Alright she's cool with that. Along with a bunch of other emotions. Hikari's not that much better off. She kind of is amused in a sad way at what Asuka says, and clings a little more to her.]

I won't, promise.

_Good.

_{[It's really all she can say to that. It's sort of OK with Hikari - it doesn't stop the guilt or anger, but it does help her deal with it. She reluctantly loosens her grip and wipes at her eye with her hand.]}

...what is this place, anyway? I heard it was the Garden.

_{[When in doubt, change the subject.]}

[When Asuka begins to loosen her grip, she lets up on the clinging and gives her room to wipe her face. Hikari feels a little relieved, but still worried, by the subject change.]

Mm, yeah, it's called the Gardens. Apparently only girls are brought here.

That's so weird...

_{[She sighs and brushes hair out of her face. Try to get back to normalcy. Or as normal as she can get right now.]}

At least I don't have to deal with Ikari anymore.

It really is weird.

[starts trying to rub off some of her tears with the back of her hand.]

The person behind the Gardens names herself the Queen of Hearts.

_{[Asuka puts her hand on Hikari's shoulder. It's a small gesture of comfort.]}

A Queen? What is this, the Dark Ages?

[A faint smile eases onto her face at Asuka's hand on her shoulder. Hikari appreciates the gesture.]

This place might be. But I've actually seen technology here, even if it's pretty limited.

Weird.

_{[Asuka tilts her head back to look up at the sky.]}

...I sorta feel like this is all a dream. You know?

I know what you mean, Asuka. It's really like a dream...

[looks at Asuka looking at the sky.]

This is probably not the best time to mention that there's magic involved, huh?

Magic-?!

_{[Asuka started to form a loud objection; magic didn't exist. Of course, neither should guides that cat you, this garden, mirros that let you talk through vines a few other things she'd seen since she arrived.]}

...I guess it makes sense.

Yeah.

[Hikari glances at the winter snow around them.]

Even if it's magic, or whatever the reasons, it's kind of nice to see snow for once.

It used to snow in Germany, I think. Before Second Impact.

_{[Hmm. It is kinda cool. The only place she's seen snow is in the mountains.]}

I guess there's something positive about this after all!

Mm, it was like that in Japan too, before then.

[It's cold, and the blizzard wasn't the greatest way to be introduced to snow here, but Hikari finds it pretty regardless.]

Maybe we'll see other seasons, as they used to be.

Hey, wouldn't that mean we're not on Earth anymore?

_{[That's a sobering thought. Maybe this is some sort of weird afterlife.]}

Yeah, I guess that would be true... I can't even imagine Earth having anywhere like this on it, or there even being magic.

[Thinking about it is sobering, and it brings Hikari out of her wondering about any possibilities having seasons would mean. She's silent for a moment as she looks steadily in front of her.]

There are people here who don't know what the Second Impact is. Someone even told me that nothing happened like that in her world in 2000.

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001 | Yes, It's the End of the World As We Know It | Audio/Visual

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