[voice]

[hihou]

-The voice on the other end is... tired. Weak from fasting. But probably from spending days upon days crying in her room as well. No one is keeping score.-

If my miracle powers were working... I could solve this famine. Why won't they work? Why can't I do any good here?

... I really am just taking up space, aren't I? A waste of everyone's time...

Comments

[text]

[undefines]

[The message isn't signed, and the writing looks...agitated, somehow.]

You aren't taking up space, and you're not a waste of everyone's time. If your powers aren't working, it's the fault of the people in charge here, not you.

[hihou]

-Oh... the vine had picked that up. Of course. Sanae stares at the message for a moment before speaking again.-

I can't do my job here. I can't be who I am. I'm just a body. I'm nothing without my divinity and the purpose of that divinity. Your words are kind, but this is the truth.

[undefines]

It's not the truth at all. You're more than just your job. I know that it's upsetting to feel like you can't do anything, but that doesn't make you worthless.

[hihou]

Then what does it make me?

[undefines]

You have worth as a person. You deserve to be happy.

[hihou]

...

The last person who told me that wound up hating me because I held her back...

[undefines]

[...]

I don't think that's true at all. I think she still cares about you, and she still wants you to be happy. And I think if she saw you like this, she'd be angry and upset, because you're a good person and you're worth something whether you're a shrine maiden or not.

[hihou]

...

That's you, isn't it, Nue?

[undefines]

Yes.

Are you at the shrine? I'm coming to see you.

[hihou]

No. You can't see me right now. Not like this.

[undefines]

We need to talk.

[hihou]

No!

... Not like this. Not right now. You can't see me like this.

[undefines]

[Ugh. She doesn't like that answer, but...]

Will tomorrow be better?

[hihou]

...

I don't know.

[undefines]

I want to talk soon. I'm not going to stand by if you're this unhappy.

[hihou]

Maybe... tonight.

[undefines]

Alright. I'll come.

[hihou]

I'll be waiting in my room...

→ action

[undefines]

[And she does, indeed, show up at night.]

[Except she doesn't want to risk having to deal with Reimu, so instead of coming through a door and knocking like a normal person, she circles around to the side of the building and taps on a window like a serial killer in a horror movie or something.]

[hihou]

-Well... she was kind of expecting that, really. She goes to slide the window open, head downturned.-

[undefines]

[She doesn't try to climb in, not wanting to overstep her boundaries. Especially not when Sanae still isn't looking at her. Instead, she sets her arms on the windowsill and leans in from the shoulders up.]

[It doesn't help that she isn't really sure where to start with this.]

Sanae... [Her wings swish back and forth behind her back, the movement seeming a little anxious.] Do you hate me?

[hihou]

-It takes her a moment to answer, but eventually she ends up shaking her head in negative. She didn't hate Nue. She probably never could hate anyone. And she was obviously more upset with herself than she was with the other girl.

[undefines]

Good, because I meant what I told you earlier. I don't resent you and I don't hate you, either. [Her voice grows firmer as she gains momentum.] And I still— I still love you, so I hate seeing you like this. So if there's anything I can do to make you happy, if you tell me, I'll do it! I won't ask questions or say anything, I'll just—

[She breaks off, running out of steam.]

[hihou]

...

Right now, I just feel so empty. Like I'd be better off dead.

... I haven't felt like this since I was little girl. When my real parents died in that car accident.

[undefines]

You wouldn't! You wouldn't be, so—!

[She cuts off again, trying to get her kneejerk reaction under control. The movements of her wings behind her only become more agitated, though. She leans further in through the window, and this time, she grabs one of Sanae's hands. She keeps her eyes fixed firmly on Sanae's face, even if she doesn't look, her expression...earnest.]

Why? There's no reason for you to feel that way! [Not that degree, at least. Depressed was one thing, but better off dead...]