[voice]

[hihou]

-The voice on the other end is... tired. Weak from fasting. But probably from spending days upon days crying in her room as well. No one is keeping score.-

If my miracle powers were working... I could solve this famine. Why won't they work? Why can't I do any good here?

... I really am just taking up space, aren't I? A waste of everyone's time...

Comments

[undefines]

[She doesn't try to climb in, not wanting to overstep her boundaries. Especially not when Sanae still isn't looking at her. Instead, she sets her arms on the windowsill and leans in from the shoulders up.]

[It doesn't help that she isn't really sure where to start with this.]

Sanae... [Her wings swish back and forth behind her back, the movement seeming a little anxious.] Do you hate me?

[hihou]

-It takes her a moment to answer, but eventually she ends up shaking her head in negative. She didn't hate Nue. She probably never could hate anyone. And she was obviously more upset with herself than she was with the other girl.

[undefines]

Good, because I meant what I told you earlier. I don't resent you and I don't hate you, either. [Her voice grows firmer as she gains momentum.] And I still— I still love you, so I hate seeing you like this. So if there's anything I can do to make you happy, if you tell me, I'll do it! I won't ask questions or say anything, I'll just—

[She breaks off, running out of steam.]

[hihou]

...

Right now, I just feel so empty. Like I'd be better off dead.

... I haven't felt like this since I was little girl. When my real parents died in that car accident.

[undefines]

You wouldn't! You wouldn't be, so—!

[She cuts off again, trying to get her kneejerk reaction under control. The movements of her wings behind her only become more agitated, though. She leans further in through the window, and this time, she grabs one of Sanae's hands. She keeps her eyes fixed firmly on Sanae's face, even if she doesn't look, her expression...earnest.]

Why? There's no reason for you to feel that way! [Not that degree, at least. Depressed was one thing, but better off dead...]

[hihou]

Just like then... I feel like I'd lost my whole world. Like I have no reason to keep on living.

[undefines]

You haven't! You haven't lost anything! Just because you can't solve everything all the time...

[She tries to tug Sanae closer, intending to hug her...]

[hihou]

-Sanae flinched away from the tug... probably inadvertently sending Nue toppling into the room.-

[undefines]

[Yep. It doesn't help that Nue tried to get insistent about it. In any case, she faceplants over the window sill and directly onto the floor.]

—Gyah!

[hihou]

-And yet... It may have been a good thing. A very good thing. Because it made Sanae giggle.-

Are you alright?

[undefines]

[Nue's face is an interesting shade of red when she hops up and brushes herself off. Still, that laugh makes her...really, really happy, so she doesn't snap at Sanae even as she pouts.]

I'm fine. I'm not that easy to hurt. [...] Can we sit down and talk?

[Since, you know, she's inside now.]

[hihou]

... I guess so.

[undefines]

I just mean... [She sighs and tries to stop feeling so flustered.] We can't just go on avoiding this stuff forever.

[hihou]

I know... But I don't know what to say...

[undefines]

It's not like I have a better idea. We'll just have to figure it out.

[hihou]

... I was really ready to just lay here and die until you came along... Seems kind of silly, in hindsight.

[undefines]

That's ridiculous. There's no reason you should feel that way. If you're going to be like that, I'll— I'll stay here and make sure you don't whether you like it or not!

[hihou]

I said it seemed silly... but I don't know. I'm not certain if I actually feel any better or if you being here is just slowing down the inevitable...

[undefines]

Either way, I can still help.

[From her tone of voice, she isn't going to budge.]

Will you talk to me about why you're feeling like this?

[She figures it can't just be her inability to deal with the famine that's left her this way.]

[hihou]

I wish I had words...

[undefines]

[...sigh]

Can you at least try?

[hihou]

...

I just feel so... small. So meaningless. When I was a little girl, my parents died in a car accident on their way to pick me up from school. At that moment, when they had told me what happened... I felt small. Like without them, I had no purpose, or reason to exist. Here... without my goddesses, without my maidenly honor, and without my divinity... I am even more meaningless.

[undefines]

Sanae... No one but you thinks that. You have people here who care about you, and you have people at home that do, too. You aren't meaningless to them. And you're really important to me. S- So...

[hihou]

I know that... or at least part of me does... But...

[undefines]

...I know it can be hard to believe it when people say that kind of thing, especially if you don't feel like you deserve it. But it's the truth, so you'll just have to accept it.