3rd Course - Necessary Ingredients [Video]

[starofpleiades]

[Kazumi's expression is worried; not surprising after how the last few weeks have been. She wasn't really affected much, but she saw people who were...]

Is everyone alright now? Back to normal...?

[She sighs, looking a bit forlorn.]

Things making people act unlike themselves... what's "like yourself" though, other than how you acted before? I mean... what makes up a person? Our bodies? Our actions? Our memories?

[Memories...]

...hey, what do memories mean to you? How important are your memories? If you had something painful in your past... do you think it'd be better not to remember it?

[She's taking the video just outside the apartment complex, so anyone is free to run into her there or respond over the vine]

Comments

[video]

[mnementomori]

I think--actions and memories are the most important. [she pauses for a moment, because the second question is more difficult.]

Maybe it might make you feel better...but if you forgot about what happened, there would still be other people that remembered, right? So I think--it's important to remember everything you can.

[starofpleiades]

[Kazumi nods] Yeah, there was that body switching thing right? Though I guess people didn't have their memories either then...

So you should remember because others remember?

[video]

[tookupthesword]

... Huh? Hold on a moment, I was busy dealing with my own issues, what happened?

[starofpleiades]

Umm, well. It seems there was this woman in a well calling out to people... and a lot of people starting acting really angry or violent. It was kind of scary, actually.

[tookupthesword]

Well... I wasn't really violent, and I didn't check out any wells. I think I was angry, or at least frustrated though.

[starofpleiades]

Okay, well... it's good nothing bad happened to you! I think some people who were violent might have disappeared...

[action]

[drinkswithminors]

-Oh hey, look who's back from the grocery run. Though she was pretty well shaken from the fallout of the well woman's song, Akira seemed to be carrying herself fine, now... Maybe she could help?-

[starofpleiades]

Ah, Akira! Eheh... just getting back?

[Even if she was a bit downcast in her video, she can't help smiling a bit at the sight of the blonde]

[drinkswithminors]

Yo. Got a nice autumn harvest here. Sweet potatoes and stuff.

[starofpleiades]

Ooh, nice! Heheh... maybe we should just roast them outdoors? There's some good ways to cook them too though...

[video]

[notvitiligo]

You got it in one: how you acted before. Your personality is just the pattern of how you normally act.

hmm... as far as memories go... mostly, they're kind of important. They're data that tell you how the world is, and how stuff happens. I mean, crap happens, and it sucks, but it's also something important to know.

Trust me, you don't exactly want to have blanks where something should be. You never really feel right.

[starofpleiades]

So... if someone starts acting differently, does that make them no longer themself?

Do you think the blanks would be worse than painful memories?

[notvitiligo]

Hmmm... I guess it depends whether it's a one-off thing, or part of a new pattern. And whether they still have old patterns to them. How much they conform to predictions you'd make based on normal behavior.

Usually, yeah. Maybe if you had a really, really bad memory, like something that you can't deal with? But... I dunno, you kind of end up feeling like you missed something important. And... I guess I just prefer knowing things, even if I don't like them.

[text]

[mother_of_god]

[The smell of ash puffs out as the Vine unrolls a piece of parchment. Like a brand, the following is singed into the surface:]

It's hard to tell. I think there are different things, because a soul can become different people. Maybe it's what happens to you.

I was happier when I didn't know who I used to be. I think. I was someone else, and in another life. Maybe it wasn't really me.

But you can't really forget, and bad things will always happen.

What happened to you?

[Video]

[starofpleiades]

Different people? Like, how people can change over time, you mean?

That's what I'm wondering about. What makes you "you"?

Um, well... [She thinks about it, but in the end decides to be candid] I used to not have any memories! But I met some friends from before, and little by little they've been helping me remember everything. Eheh, well, some things they tried to hide from me... but that was because our past was... really, really painful. That's why I was wondering if people thought it might be better not to know...

[mother_of_god]

If the soul started over somewhere else.

I'm not sure if I'm me. Because I have two people's memories now.

I thought it was better for someone I loved not to remember, but I couldn't stop her from remembering. It was really sad, because then she couldn't be around anymore.

It's hard because you can't keep people from hurting.

[voice]

[cobbledtogether]

"Memories"...

[Oh no. This line of questioning hits Lambda directly, even if she's still too immature to really grasp a lot of the nuances in the topics being discussed here. So, it's not surprising that her reply is, for the most part, very clinical.]

A person's "self" is determined by the possession of a consistent sense of identity, created by their thoughts and emotions. The addition or subtraction of memories may then cause fluctuations in this "self."

If the alteration of my memories [—which, for her, means loss and gain both—] would cause me to become a different "self," I would not desire it.

[Video]

[starofpleiades]

So... a person with no memories could still have an identity?

[She thinks that one over... she'd felt pretty lost before Umika and Kaoru had found her again... had she been herself then, before she got her memories back?]

Yeah, having your memories changed could be pretty scary, I guess... especially if it made you think you were something you're not.

[cobbledtogether]

Yes. I...had no memories upon my initial arrival to the Gardens. Currently, my memorybanks are still lacking a large amount of data.

[She has a number of memories now, but the bulk of them are ones she has made in this place. There's only a snippet or two of things from her life before, and she still isn't sure if she wants to know more. After all, the Lambda in the memories she recovered is very different than who she is now.]

[Video]

[heartovertime]

I hope everyone is okay...

[There's a pause, a readjustment in Homura's posture as she shifts a little in her seat in front of the mirror. It's an uncomfortable question to speak truthfully to, but it's better to speak at least a little about these things rather than just avoid them most of the time.]

I know how it is to have wanted my memories to disappear. For a long time, I wanted to forget a lot of my troubles in my life. I thought nothing good would ever come of me because I would just be a burden on everyone.

And then, I saw far worse things...

But... even with the horrible things I've seen, I don't think I'd be the same person I am today if not for having to face them.

[Instead she'd still be that scared girl, wanting to run away from all that sought to hurt her. Away from bullying, away from her own uncertainties about feeling alone. Away from the witch that had devastated her city and consumed her nightmares. That's not to say her fear is gone - far from the case. But she does feel better equipped to face it, stronger, even strong enough to protect those she cares about.]

It's my life with these troubles that lead me to meet who I met too... [And then ultimately finding her way here to meet Madoka and everyone once again, outside of that fatal cycle, free from most of those troubles.] so I don't think I want to run away from those bad memories anymore. I'd rather just focus on the good ones, and making many more.

[starofpleiades]

I hope so too...

[Kazumi listens quietly to Homura's thoughts, nodding a bit at each part. She doesn't know about wanting to forget, since she's wanted to remember this whole time, but she agrees with that last part]

Yeah... I think it's important to face the truth! So you think memories and those sorts of thing shape who we are?

[heartovertime]

[Homura gives a nod, a light smile on her lips even as her eyes look a bit more distant, dwelling on her thoughts.] Yeah.... I think so. [Knowing what she does of her "other" self, it points to even more likely. She may not know all the details, but it's certainly that she had changed, at least on the outside. The previous Madoka from that time had thought that maybe she was still largely the same at heart, even if she was colder.]

Maybe there's some central "me" or "you", but probably we change with each experience... even if it's just in little ways.

[swarmoflies]

[Sette just looks depressed. Her normally hyper-aggressive manner has become remarkably subdued.]

My memories o' me Da are the most important things ta me. No question.

[starofpleiades]

Mm, family is important! And friends too. I'd be really sad if I couldn't remember my friends, especially since they aren't here.

[swarmoflies]

Don't got none.