Urbanite Lost: Prologue/Anonymous Text

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

...

[There isn't any taking it back, though Reeve wishes there was. She ought to know better than to take anything for granted in this place. It's too easy, getting used to one's cage, letting one's guard down. Everything is too easy, right up until it becomes unbearable.

Wishes aren't something Reeve indulges in very often. Goals, aspirations-- those are different, less fantastical animals. But she had wanted to know, about her city, her mother, her world, and so she did wish. Because in her heart, she was hopeful-- even though her mind was uneasy.

Anyway, she had never really fancied herself the sort to have a tattoo. So she had wished.
I need to know, what's happening in my city, Midgar-- are things under control? Is everyone all right? Has any time passed since I left?

Her answer had been something like a vision before waking, half-recalled-- or a poorly edited film, looping back on itself. Afterwards, there had been a kind of bleak incomprehension.
What could they mean, these voices, faces, images from another world?

...

...(a recorded voice, the President) "...today the No.1 Reactor was bombed. The terrorist group AVALANCHE has claimed responsibility for the bombing.
It is expected that AVALANCHE will continue its reign of terror. But citizens of Midgar.... there is no need to fear. I have immediately mobilized SOLDIER to protect our citizenry against this senseless violence. Thank you and good night."

...(a board meeting, herself standing, giving a report-- she looks tired, worn)
"We have the damage estimates for Sector 7.
Considering those factories we already set up and all the investments, the damage is estimated at approximately 10 Billion gil."
The estimated cost to rebuild Sector 7 is--"

(the President interrupts to say) "We're not rebuilding." (she watches as a kind of dull surprise registers on her own face.)

...(a sound, like a train crash and the breathless roar of demolition and the clanging of tuneless bells and a storm underwater and hard, distant laughter all at once. There is the familiar slouch and shrug of Reno's shoulders-- and the Sector 7 plate is breaking, is falling through the air and (we're not rebuilding) and there is nothing but dust (so much dust) and screaming. It's like the end of the world.)

...(a familiar hallway, a familiar office and she sees him seated at his desk, but there is blood here (so much blood) and the President is pinned to the top of his heavy desk like a beetle to a card-- by a long, bright sword. Beyond the door, the hallway is eerily silent.)

A voice she does not recognize is speaking, words falling through the hush and settling in her mind like coins at the bottom of a well.

"No human could've done this."

... (a question he's never asked before, sounding more like the leader of a gang of thugs than the President of Shinra, of Gaia, of Everything.)

"What's the problem, Reeve? You want out?"

...

It's been a few days since Reeve's wish was granted. She can't seem to process these things that aren't proper memories. What are they, lies? Partial truths? Possible futures? Even though the Reno she knows in the Garden is not the Reno she witnessed dropping the plate on the residential area beneath Sector 7, she can't seem to shake the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. All those lives-- she can't understand.

There is only one sword like the one pinning the President to his desk in her dreams. What does it mean? She isn't sure she wants to understand. "No human could have done this." But then how could it be the General?

But of all things, it's the question addressed to herself that frightens her most.
"What's the problem, Reeve? You want out?"

Not wanting to discuss the incident of the wish outright, and dizzy from turning it over in her own head, Reeve decides to take it to the people. Anonymously, of course.]

...

[anonymous text] (printed in a firm, clear hand)

What if you had made a wish for knowledge of your home, but found out something you didn't want to know at all? How would you handle the burden of this knowledge?

Comments

[text]

[tasercopter.livejournal.com]

[Reno likes anonymous notes, because she likes to respond anonymously. There's some opportunity for fun there. As well as annoying people. This one's kind of intriguing.]

I need more information before I can say what I'd do. What kind of thing did you find out, if you can tell me?

[She keeps her printing as generic as her language.]

Re: [text]

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

Nothing very good. There were a lot of images and scenes, but it was difficult to tell their order. Most of the things I found out have to do with the destruction of my home and the deaths of many people. Some things seem to involve people I know personally behaving in ways and saying things I find it hard to imagine possible.

[text]

[tasercopter.livejournal.com]

No, that doesn't sound good at all. [It sounds familiar, but it's also more or less universal. Bad things happen everywhere, at one time or another.] I'm sorry about that. [Which she says because it sounds like something someone would say.]

People you know personally--do you mean some of the people here, or just people back home? What did they do?

text;

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

[ ]

Probably by figuring out how to try making amends for it.

Re: text;

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

It's difficult to tell what happened, really. There wasn't a clear narrative. My impulse would be to make amends, but I've no idea how I'd do that from this place. Not really trusting the Queen, I've no idea what I'll find when I do get home, or if I'll even recall what I saw.

text;

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

Uh huh. I get that it's gonna be difficult, but that's why I said “figure out,” not “have all the answers fall into your lap.”

I mean, when stuff goes down at home, it's hard to work out what to do at the best of times, right? At least here you have time, and like, plenty of it, so you can make up a billion and one contingency plans for whatever may or may not be going on.

[text]

[mnementomori]

[not exactly anonymous--she doesn't leave a name, but she makes no effort to disguise her writing.]

No matter what, if you knew or not, it happened, right? So, it's probably better to know the truth.

At the same time, I'd be upset knowing something bad happened and I'm not there to help, or fix it. So...I'm not sure.

Re: [text]

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

There is a part of me that questions whether or not what I saw was the truth. I don't trust the Queen very much. But that could just be wishful thinking.

Yes, not being there to help or fix things is upsetting. But when I saw myself at home, I was powerless anyway. I'm not sure what to think.

Re: [text]

[mnementomori]

I guess that's true. There's no way of knowing it's real for sure.

But, someone told me one that time stops at home while you're here.

[Text]

[restlessdevil.livejournal.com]

That's very sad. Or it sounds like it, anyways.

Well, I think all you can really do at this point is to try to sort it out in your mind and deal with it. Easier said than done, I'm sure, but that's my advice.

Has anyone else you know used wishes? I'm hoping that they're not the kind that come true in the worst possible way or anything. Because that's not a very nice reward for helping out.

-Zenobia
♥♥♥

Re: [Text]

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure of the outcome of any of the other wishes.
My reward might just happen to be an incredibly unpleasant an sad truth-- one I'll have to make peace with.

[Text]

[restlessdevil.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that. Would it cheer you up to have some company? I'm not doing anything right now.

[notvitiligo.livejournal.com]

It would depend on if I thought I could trust the knowledge. And on what said knowledge was.

I think a lot of things you just have to deal with it because there is nothing you can do about it.

-Jessica Boyette

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

"... a lot of things you just have to deal with it because there is nothing you can do about it."
I think that's one of the worst things, to tell you the truth. I got the idea from what I saw that I was in that situation exactly-- and I wasn't in any Garden. There was nothing I could do, or at least I seemed to think so.

But yes, there is the fact that I'm not too sure about trusting knowledge in this place. Nothing seems to come for free. I could have been shown one possible timeline, for instance. But that possibility is heartbreaking-- and involves the versions I'm familiar with of some people I've gotten close to in this place. Which is-- I don't really have words for it, honestly.

[notvitiligo.livejournal.com]

That sounds very upsetting. Maybe somebody is messing with you. If it is real I guess there is not anything you can do right now so try not to think about it too much. Unless you think you can find some way to change things.

I do not know a lot about time travel stuff and all that. Maybe you could talk to the trolls, I think they know more about it. I am not really into quantum physics.

text;

[ebony-bone.livejournal.com]

There is not much choice. There is no way to remove the knowing, and no way to return home to effect it. The only thing left is to accept it.

Re: text;

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

That's true. I can accept that there is nothing I can do from this place. What's more difficult to accept is the idea that there might be nothing I can do when I return home-- and that people I've grown close to in this place could be involved in the horrible present I saw.
I suppose I'll have to accept that too, but it will be more than difficult.

[ text ]

[aureation.livejournal.com]

Re: [ text ]

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

It's the knowledge that some of the people I've grown close to here-- in my world, the counterparts of those people have done or will do horrible things. I know that the women I know here aren't responsible. But it's hard to reconcile. I also saw myself so demoralized, that-- things were never perfect at home, but this, it's hard to imagine how things could have fallen apart so quickly.

[text]

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

If I were to make such a wish, I would bear in mind that all the knowledge I received was given to me by an entity of unknown origin that abducted me from that very home.

--Sephiroth

Re: [text]

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

[There is a longer wait time for this response than for most others.]

That's true. It's part of what makes what I saw so hard to process. I don't know that I can trust it. Maybe I should reject it outright. But the things I saw do play on my fears and doubts and are hard to push away entirely.

[text]

[cagemyhappiness.livejournal.com]

[her response is printed with a neatness that isn't quite perfect; there's a childish slant to the letters, despite Eleanor's efforts.]

Forget. Or pretend.

Re: [text]

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

I'd like very much to do either. Or both, actually.

text;

[c_zacatechichi]

It is your home, why should you not wish to know?

Re: text;

[urbanwonderland.livejournal.com]

Because what you've learned is painful to think of and you feel powerless-- and because there are people here whose counterparts in your world did the terrible things that cause you pain to think of. It's difficult to face them, to understand. Even though you know they aren't responsible.