queenofheartsrp | Urbanite Lost: Prologue/Anonymous Text

Urbanite Lost: Prologue/Anonymous Text

...

[There isn't any taking it back, though Reeve wishes there was. She ought to know better than to take anything for granted in this place. It's too easy, getting used to one's cage, letting one's guard down. Everything is too easy, right up until it becomes unbearable.

Wishes aren't something Reeve indulges in very often. Goals, aspirations-- those are different, less fantastical animals. But she had wanted to know, about her city, her mother, her world, and so she did wish. Because in her heart, she was hopeful-- even though her mind was uneasy.

Anyway, she had never really fancied herself the sort to have a tattoo. So she had wished.
I need to know, what's happening in my city, Midgar-- are things under control? Is everyone all right? Has any time passed since I left?

Her answer had been something like a vision before waking, half-recalled-- or a poorly edited film, looping back on itself. Afterwards, there had been a kind of bleak incomprehension.
What could they mean, these voices, faces, images from another world?

...

...(a recorded voice, the President) "...today the No.1 Reactor was bombed. The terrorist group AVALANCHE has claimed responsibility for the bombing.
It is expected that AVALANCHE will continue its reign of terror. But citizens of Midgar.... there is no need to fear. I have immediately mobilized SOLDIER to protect our citizenry against this senseless violence. Thank you and good night."

...(a board meeting, herself standing, giving a report-- she looks tired, worn)
"We have the damage estimates for Sector 7.
Considering those factories we already set up and all the investments, the damage is estimated at approximately 10 Billion gil."
The estimated cost to rebuild Sector 7 is--"

(the President interrupts to say) "We're not rebuilding." (she watches as a kind of dull surprise registers on her own face.)

...(a sound, like a train crash and the breathless roar of demolition and the clanging of tuneless bells and a storm underwater and hard, distant laughter all at once. There is the familiar slouch and shrug of Reno's shoulders-- and the Sector 7 plate is breaking, is falling through the air and (we're not rebuilding) and there is nothing but dust (so much dust) and screaming. It's like the end of the world.)

...(a familiar hallway, a familiar office and she sees him seated at his desk, but there is blood here (so much blood) and the President is pinned to the top of his heavy desk like a beetle to a card-- by a long, bright sword. Beyond the door, the hallway is eerily silent.)

A voice she does not recognize is speaking, words falling through the hush and settling in her mind like coins at the bottom of a well.

"No human could've done this."

... (a question he's never asked before, sounding more like the leader of a gang of thugs than the President of Shinra, of Gaia, of Everything.)

"What's the problem, Reeve? You want out?"

...

It's been a few days since Reeve's wish was granted. She can't seem to process these things that aren't proper memories. What are they, lies? Partial truths? Possible futures? Even though the Reno she knows in the Garden is not the Reno she witnessed dropping the plate on the residential area beneath Sector 7, she can't seem to shake the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. All those lives-- she can't understand.

There is only one sword like the one pinning the President to his desk in her dreams. What does it mean? She isn't sure she wants to understand. "No human could have done this." But then how could it be the General?

But of all things, it's the question addressed to herself that frightens her most.
"What's the problem, Reeve? You want out?"

Not wanting to discuss the incident of the wish outright, and dizzy from turning it over in her own head, Reeve decides to take it to the people. Anonymously, of course.]

...

[anonymous text] (printed in a firm, clear hand)

What if you had made a wish for knowledge of your home, but found out something you didn't want to know at all? How would you handle the burden of this knowledge?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No problem.

[Hmmm.] So, they're like people from your world, but different? Women instead of men, you mean? I know some people here like that. [Did that sound generic enough? She thinks so...]

I wouldn't know what to do, either. Can you talk about it to the people you know, who are here? Do you know them well enough?

Yes, that's what I mean. The people I know here are, for me, alternate versions of the people I saw. I might eventually want to talk to someone, or maybe I'll simply have to deal with the uncertainty-- but it does make things awkward for me. Right now, even though I know it's an unreasonable reaction, I don't feel I really know anyone, or anything.
Talking to the people I'm closest to here, or even the people who might understand how I feel, might be problematic-- I'm almost afraid of what I might say.

I can see how that would be a problem. Since we're all anonymous, you can talk it out here if you want. Maybe it'll help, and you don't have to name names. I know I'd feel better, talking to someone about it. [Of course, this is a total lie, and she would never think such a thing.]

What do you think you might say to them?

You have a point. I suppose I would ask questions-- "How could you do it? There were so many people living there, practically an entire small town.", and then too, "Everyone thought you were dead-- but to return like this? I saw it-- your left your weapon inside him. How is that possible?"

That's a good start to the sort of questions I'd ask. I don't know that I'm all that prepared to hear the answers, but I want to know just the same.

[Reno stares at the text for a second. She'd had her suspicions about who this might be. Though she's more familiar with her Reeve's signature than his handwriting, there'd been some clues. Now she knows for sure. Hey, her plan really worked. She should fake sympathy more often. She takes a moment to congratulate herself before replying.]

[She ignores the first question for now.]

I can answer the second one, no problem. It's cause that bitch Sephiroth is a crazy monster.

[Reno. Dammit. Reeve isn't any too sure she really wants to have this conversation, but she guesses text might be a better option than a face-to-face.]

Really. Judging from what I saw, I'm not really sure the Reno I know would have the moral high-ground here-- do you, Reno? Is the deliberate release of the Sector 7 plate onto a residential area something our timelines have in common? I'm not making an assumption, but I am asking.

[This time, she frowns before replying.] Yeah, I dropped the plate, but don't you fucking dare compare me to Sephiroth. I'm a Turk. I follow orders. If I hadn't done it, somebody else would've.

I been telling you, the same stuff that happened in my world's gonna happen in yours. It's already been set in motion. Maybe there's some other alternate Gaia where somebody dropped Hojo on his head when he was a baby and squashed the fucker's brains out and President Shinra went into selling ice cream instead of guns, but that's not the Gaia we're from.

[Reeve feels ill. She's glad the Vine can't show Reno her expression. She takes a few long moments to reply.]

I can guess where you got your orders from, but I can't accept that as an excuse. I'm sure you don't care what I think of what you did, or were ordered to do, but the idea of it horrifies me. I can't believe-- no, I can believe they would do it, I just don't want to. Why? Can you tell me that? What was gained?

No offense, but I've no interest in arguing theories about the nature of this place or our separate worlds right now, Reno. I have no way of knowing why the General did what I can only assume he did, but I refuse to accept the explanation that there was nothing behind it other than that he was a monster. That's no explanation at all.

[Reno's handwriting comes fast and angry in response.]

You know what, Reeve, don't you fucking moralize at me. You're part of Shinra, too. You gave them all the fucking juice to fuel their war machine.

I couldn't stand Heidegger, and I was waiting for the president to die since that shit with Veld happened and those assholes were gonna kill us for crap that was their own damn fault. So I'm sure the Reno you know is holding his breath, waiting for those fat bastards to kick it, too. In the meantime, he has to follow all their orders. Yeah, like I'd get myself executed disobeying an order when the same thing would happen no matter what. I work for Rufus. He's been my top priority since Veld left. [It was Rufus who'd stopped them from being executed.] I didn't gain nothing by the plate dropping, except not getting shot. To tell you the truth, I don't give a shit about it. [Actually, she does feel a twinge of guilt now, but she's too annoyed with Reeve to admit that.]

You want an explanation? Professor Hojo made Sephiroth to kill everybody. Because he wanted to see if he could do it. That's why. So it's the same reason most things happen: some asshole wanted it that way. Maybe bitch Sephiroth isn't going to go crazy by the magic of the fat in her tits, but I wouldn't bet on it.

I don't think you gained anything personally from dropping the plate, Reno. I wanted to know what the in all the hells those who gave you your orders wanted to gain.

I've had my work exploited when it suited the corporation and ignored when it didn't. I know exactly what I gave them and what I didn't. I willing to say I'm a part of the problem, so to speak. But I won't be lectured by the armed thugs in security, no matter how "elite" they might be.
Do you really think I'd ever have been allowed to leave the company, go the private sector? Even if I wanted to? As if there was a private sector to go to? If what I saw and what you say can be trusted, I can admit I've been blind, maybe to some extent willfully-- and maybe I am in some part responsible. But I'm also moral. I'm not a murderer. So if there's any fucking moralizing to be done, I'll be the one to do it, Reno.

I had no idea there was such a shift in loyalties. I'm beginning to think I don't know a lot more things than I already thought I didn't know. Regardless, as colorful as your version of events is, I don't know that I can trust it anymore than I can trust what I saw. If what you say is true, it's insane. It's impossible and obscene. How do you know this, were you cleared?

AVALANCHE was in Sector 7, so the President decided to drop the plate on 'em and blame it on AVALANCHE. Good PR for Shinra, bad for AVALANCHE. [Reno considers this.] It was a fucking stupid plan, but what do you expect?

I'm not in security, asshole. The Turks are the fucking Investigative Sector, and don't you disrespect us. I mean, we do more security shit now that everyone else is dead, but it's not like you didn't know we kill people. That's in the job description. Guess what, "General Sephiroth" killed people too, even before he went crazy. Lots of people.

I couldn't leave Shinra either, even if I wanted to, so no, you can't fucking moralize, little miss architect. You know how they fucked us Turks over so don't start.

But there's a whole hell of a lot you don't know, and a lot I didn't know two years ago, back before shit went down. Yeah, that's about right, it's insane. The guy was a lunatic. I know it cause it already happened. There's only us and Rufus at the top now, I got all the clearance.

Yes, I do know what happened to the Turks. It was a bloody shame.
But when last I checked, the Turks were an elite group of government enforcers who were recruited from various branches within the government or from outside. Completely voluntary.
The Turks aren't career military, Shinra science enhanced supersoldiers who belong to that government. A Turk isn't a SOLDIER who kills people in the course of fighting the government's wars. The comparison is ludicrous.

As little as I do know, I have every right to moralize. I have every right to be heard and respected, though the lack of those things is nothing new-- I don't carry a weapon or have a bodyguard, after all.
Any thinking person with a conscience would have the right to moralize in this situation. No amount of deflection can change that fact.

Tell me this, was it even successful? Did dropping the plate kill the terrorists? If not, and if the order was just a gesture. Then it was outright murder.

Ludicrous? Yeah, right. Me and the assholes in SOLDIER both worked for the government and killed people for shitty reasons. There were plenty of people who wanted to be in SOLDIER. Maybe not Sephiroth, I'm just saying, the army and government agents kill people, that's no surprise.

Shinra recruited orphans and street kids to be in the Turks. What better way to ensure loyalty, right? Give something to somebody with nothing. Anybody who's that much stronger or smarter than the rest, they'd pick 'em up, and it's not as if some fourteen year old kid's gonna say no to one of those government recruiters. Cause what else do they got to look forward to?

So spare me your morals, and don't you disrespect the Turks, I don't want to hear it. Nobody but the Turks ever did shit for me.

I don't feel sorry for you, Reeve, you and your "nobody listens to me". Everybody listens to the Reeve I know, so you just got a few more months to go, and all your dreams'll come true. [Obviously, she's being very sarcastic.]

I guess they didn't show you the part where one of those terrorists nearly cut me in half. It kinda worked, and it kinda didn't. You know what, it was wrong, and Shinra was wrong, but if I was back in that place, I'd do the same thing again, cause that's what I had to do. [She's not gonna apologize to Reeve.]

I have no interest in your sympathy. I don't need it. What I said is simply a fact. Whatever might have happened to the Reeve you know to suddenly make his "dreams come true", might not happen to me, so I'd prefer not to rely on the idea. I'll stick with what I know-- which is a lack of the kind of respect that goes to people who earn it by virtue of being armed.

Believe it or not, Reno, I am capable of caring that you were injured and simultaneously being shocked and horrified by the orders you followed. I don't think that terrorism is any kind of answer to tyranny-- but I think that the murder of its citizens by the state is even more heinous. It is a monstrous betrayal of trust.

Yes, it was wrong. Everyone was wrong. Even I was wrong. I've never seen myself the way I did. I seemed so defeated. The President asked me if I wanted out, but I have no notion of the context of the comment or of my reply.

But I don't expect you to understand. You're clearly comfortable in your place. After everything that's happened in your own world, I'm not surprised by that, and maybe you've even earned that feeling.
It's different for me. My reaction to what I saw is visceral and, I feel, completely justified. But I don't expect you to understand that, either.

Yeah, I was joking about the respect thing, and I think having a kitty who can kill things counts as being armed.

I don't care if you care that I was injured. What I meant was, the thing with the terrorists--it worked, but it didn't. It's complicated.

I know what the Prez was talking about. You were putting up some pussy token resistance, so he asked you if you wanted out. And you didn't. You kept helping us. Worked with us. Even after the plate dropped.

I understand, Reeve. I know it all already. I didn't say I was comfortable. Turks don't get to be comfortable. We follow orders, but we don't take it easy. After everything that happened, I don't feel any better, believe me. Don't act like you know what I think, cause you don't.

I don't claim to have a firm grasp on what you think, or of how you think, or of how you feel. That's why I ask questions. In my experience, Turks don't ask questions-- unless they already know the answers and the questions are just a formality of self-implication before the "interrogation" moves into its next phase.

The Reeve you know might have been a collaborator. I'm willing to consider that I might be one myself without being fully aware of it. But you don't hold the moral high ground, here-- and I doubt you would know the motivations and thoughts behind the actions of the Reeve you know any better than you seem to know mine. Whatever they might have been or might be, I'm fairly sure they'll be more complex than a set of orders.

Your experience isn't worth shit then, because contrary to what you believe, the Turks aren't trained dogs. We follow orders, but we investigate and make our own choices. I know what you're implying there, and yeah, we tortured and interrogated people. So what? Sometimes that info saved lives, so I don't even know what the fuck you mean by "formality", unless you mean you've got your head so far up your ass you don't know what you're talking about.

A collaborator. For working for your own boss. You were a collaborator once you started working with AVALANCHE, dumbass.

I never said I held any moral high ground, I said you didn't. I know about your motivations, believe me. Better than you think. I just don't care that much about them.

I would consider myself a collaborator for working with any organization that would authorize the actions I witnessed-- a collaborator against the interests of the citizens of my city and my world. If the Reeve you know went to work for a terrorist group aligned against that organization, he must have had good and abundant reason.

That part you seem to miss here is that I am not looking to you for respect or understanding or care. The Turks might or might not be "trained dogs", but they are a pack. I'm an outsider-- to that pack and to the company in general. Whatever ground I have is my own, and I won't allow others to define me or my experience, Reno.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Urbanite Lost: Prologue/Anonymous Text

[text]

Re: [text]

[text]

Re: [text]

[text, anonymous and locked]

Re: [text, anonymous and locked]

[text, obviously not anonymous, but locked]

Re: [text, obviously not anonymous, but locked]

[locked text]

Re: [locked text]

[locked text]

Re: [locked text]

[locked text]

Re: [locked text]

[locked text]

Re: [locked text]

[locked text]

Re: [locked text]