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queenofheartsrp2011-06-30 12:45 am
urbanwonderland.livejournal.com) wrote in queenofheartsrp2011-06-30 12:45 am
Urbanite Lost: Prologue/Anonymous Text
...
[There isn't any taking it back, though Reeve wishes there was. She ought to know better than to take anything for granted in this place. It's too easy, getting used to one's cage, letting one's guard down. Everything is too easy, right up until it becomes unbearable.
Wishes aren't something Reeve indulges in very often. Goals, aspirations-- those are different, less fantastical animals. But she had wanted to know, about her city, her mother, her world, and so she did wish. Because in her heart, she was hopeful-- even though her mind was uneasy.
Anyway, she had never really fancied herself the sort to have a tattoo. So she had wished.
I need to know, what's happening in my city, Midgar-- are things under control? Is everyone all right? Has any time passed since I left?
Her answer had been something like a vision before waking, half-recalled-- or a poorly edited film, looping back on itself. Afterwards, there had been a kind of bleak incomprehension.
What could they mean, these voices, faces, images from another world?
...
...(a recorded voice, the President) "...today the No.1 Reactor was bombed. The terrorist group AVALANCHE has claimed responsibility for the bombing.
It is expected that AVALANCHE will continue its reign of terror. But citizens of Midgar.... there is no need to fear. I have immediately mobilized SOLDIER to protect our citizenry against this senseless violence. Thank you and good night."
...(a board meeting, herself standing, giving a report-- she looks tired, worn)
"We have the damage estimates for Sector 7.
Considering those factories we already set up and all the investments, the damage is estimated at approximately 10 Billion gil."
The estimated cost to rebuild Sector 7 is--"
(the President interrupts to say) "We're not rebuilding." (she watches as a kind of dull surprise registers on her own face.)
...(a sound, like a train crash and the breathless roar of demolition and the clanging of tuneless bells and a storm underwater and hard, distant laughter all at once. There is the familiar slouch and shrug of Reno's shoulders-- and the Sector 7 plate is breaking, is falling through the air and (we're not rebuilding) and there is nothing but dust (so much dust) and screaming. It's like the end of the world.)
...(a familiar hallway, a familiar office and she sees him seated at his desk, but there is blood here (so much blood) and the President is pinned to the top of his heavy desk like a beetle to a card-- by a long, bright sword. Beyond the door, the hallway is eerily silent.)
A voice she does not recognize is speaking, words falling through the hush and settling in her mind like coins at the bottom of a well.
"No human could've done this."
... (a question he's never asked before, sounding more like the leader of a gang of thugs than the President of Shinra, of Gaia, of Everything.)
"What's the problem, Reeve? You want out?"
...
It's been a few days since Reeve's wish was granted. She can't seem to process these things that aren't proper memories. What are they, lies? Partial truths? Possible futures? Even though the Reno she knows in the Garden is not the Reno she witnessed dropping the plate on the residential area beneath Sector 7, she can't seem to shake the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. All those lives-- she can't understand.
There is only one sword like the one pinning the President to his desk in her dreams. What does it mean? She isn't sure she wants to understand. "No human could have done this." But then how could it be the General?
But of all things, it's the question addressed to herself that frightens her most.
"What's the problem, Reeve? You want out?"
Not wanting to discuss the incident of the wish outright, and dizzy from turning it over in her own head, Reeve decides to take it to the people. Anonymously, of course.]
...
[anonymous text] (printed in a firm, clear hand)
What if you had made a wish for knowledge of your home, but found out something you didn't want to know at all? How would you handle the burden of this knowledge?
[There isn't any taking it back, though Reeve wishes there was. She ought to know better than to take anything for granted in this place. It's too easy, getting used to one's cage, letting one's guard down. Everything is too easy, right up until it becomes unbearable.
Wishes aren't something Reeve indulges in very often. Goals, aspirations-- those are different, less fantastical animals. But she had wanted to know, about her city, her mother, her world, and so she did wish. Because in her heart, she was hopeful-- even though her mind was uneasy.
Anyway, she had never really fancied herself the sort to have a tattoo. So she had wished.
I need to know, what's happening in my city, Midgar-- are things under control? Is everyone all right? Has any time passed since I left?
Her answer had been something like a vision before waking, half-recalled-- or a poorly edited film, looping back on itself. Afterwards, there had been a kind of bleak incomprehension.
What could they mean, these voices, faces, images from another world?
...
...(a recorded voice, the President) "...today the No.1 Reactor was bombed. The terrorist group AVALANCHE has claimed responsibility for the bombing.
It is expected that AVALANCHE will continue its reign of terror. But citizens of Midgar.... there is no need to fear. I have immediately mobilized SOLDIER to protect our citizenry against this senseless violence. Thank you and good night."
...(a board meeting, herself standing, giving a report-- she looks tired, worn)
"We have the damage estimates for Sector 7.
Considering those factories we already set up and all the investments, the damage is estimated at approximately 10 Billion gil."
The estimated cost to rebuild Sector 7 is--"
(the President interrupts to say) "We're not rebuilding." (she watches as a kind of dull surprise registers on her own face.)
...(a sound, like a train crash and the breathless roar of demolition and the clanging of tuneless bells and a storm underwater and hard, distant laughter all at once. There is the familiar slouch and shrug of Reno's shoulders-- and the Sector 7 plate is breaking, is falling through the air and (we're not rebuilding) and there is nothing but dust (so much dust) and screaming. It's like the end of the world.)
...(a familiar hallway, a familiar office and she sees him seated at his desk, but there is blood here (so much blood) and the President is pinned to the top of his heavy desk like a beetle to a card-- by a long, bright sword. Beyond the door, the hallway is eerily silent.)
A voice she does not recognize is speaking, words falling through the hush and settling in her mind like coins at the bottom of a well.
"No human could've done this."
... (a question he's never asked before, sounding more like the leader of a gang of thugs than the President of Shinra, of Gaia, of Everything.)
"What's the problem, Reeve? You want out?"
...
It's been a few days since Reeve's wish was granted. She can't seem to process these things that aren't proper memories. What are they, lies? Partial truths? Possible futures? Even though the Reno she knows in the Garden is not the Reno she witnessed dropping the plate on the residential area beneath Sector 7, she can't seem to shake the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. All those lives-- she can't understand.
There is only one sword like the one pinning the President to his desk in her dreams. What does it mean? She isn't sure she wants to understand. "No human could have done this." But then how could it be the General?
But of all things, it's the question addressed to herself that frightens her most.
"What's the problem, Reeve? You want out?"
Not wanting to discuss the incident of the wish outright, and dizzy from turning it over in her own head, Reeve decides to take it to the people. Anonymously, of course.]
...
[anonymous text] (printed in a firm, clear hand)
What if you had made a wish for knowledge of your home, but found out something you didn't want to know at all? How would you handle the burden of this knowledge?
no subject
I think that's one of the worst things, to tell you the truth. I got the idea from what I saw that I was in that situation exactly-- and I wasn't in any Garden. There was nothing I could do, or at least I seemed to think so.
But yes, there is the fact that I'm not too sure about trusting knowledge in this place. Nothing seems to come for free. I could have been shown one possible timeline, for instance. But that possibility is heartbreaking-- and involves the versions I'm familiar with of some people I've gotten close to in this place. Which is-- I don't really have words for it, honestly.
no subject
I do not know a lot about time travel stuff and all that. Maybe you could talk to the trolls, I think they know more about it. I am not really into quantum physics.
no subject
What's troubling me most is the idea of facing the versions of people I know well in this place who I saw committing terrible acts in my vision. I feel so shaken by what I saw. It's hard to look at them and not think about it. Maybe I should talk with them about it, but I'm almost afraid of what I might say.
no subject
no subject
In one case, I am a bit worried about upsetting the party involved. I know they would reject the idea that they'd ever do such a thing as murder government officials, but still, I wouldn't want to for them to think that I would think that they would. If that makes any sense.
no subject
Multiple ones?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Are you sure it is not some effect like the phantoms from earlier?
no subject
As for the phantoms, that was a wholly different experience. Not any more pleasant, but different.
Did you have experience with the phantoms at all?
no subject
I did not. I stayed in the fortress and out of harms way. I kind of wish I had gone in with people to help, now, but I do not really have much to offer.
no subject
If you're like most people, you have much more to offer than you imagine you do. What one has to offer often lies in the eye of the beholder, so repurpose a phrase.
no subject
I think I work better behind the scenes but I have a [pause] friend that said she would protect me if I went with her and I would like to help out. I do not really know why I am writing this actually. Sorry if I am bothering you.
no subject
You're not bothering me at all, actually. I dislike being caught up in my own problems-- after a while, it feels very isolating. Oh yes, I understand working behind the scenes and what it's like to feel more comfortable there-- but sometimes it's good to puch ourselves a bit, I think. Sometimes it's better to be outside one's comfort zone, even if only for a little while. You might find you're much more capable than you think.
It sounds like you've made a valuable friend here-- I'm sure they must appreciate you, too.
no subject
Yes isolating is a good word for it. I just want to make sure that I can still be useful around here. It is sort of intimidating when everyone is Superman.
I hope so. She is very valuable to me.