queenofheartsrp | vii ❧ video/action;

[She's back out here again, a tiny altar to all that she holds dear. She's down on her knees in the dirt in a new white shift.]

Wish Abe was here, bit too manly and dead for this place though. [She looks upwards and is silent, listening to the world around her, all the trees and the animals, they make unnatural sounds in this strange garden, chords drawn in directions Paderau doesn't understand and can't really decipher with all the fire in her center. If Jast were here, he could sort it out, but no boys allowed and all Paderau can do is listening to him singing in the back of her mind. The others are there too, always are, that's the way it should be.

She voices herself eventually, pensively,]

I learned a long time ago there's nothing to do but wear it. Screaming never brings anybody back. [Hadn't brought her ducklings back, hadn't brought Abe back, won't undo this.] Haven't felt this helpless in a century, I swear it. I guess it was about time I got back on my knees.

Xion, baby, I know I need to talk to you. And the gal I apparently chewed on.

[She closes her eyes tiredly.]

I'll be here for a while.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, how you doin'?

Eh... been better, but at least there weren't any broken ribs this time.

[She shifts, wondering how to approach this.]

So what happened?

I'm a healer, you know.

A lot of things that shouldn't be able to touch me have been getting their hands on me here.

[Larry shakes her head.]

I don't know what you are, or what it was you turned into. Is there something unique about you that made you act like that?

I'm a warden, and there aren't a lot of 'normal' folk that know what we are, so hold on a second while I tell you that I can't hurt anyone on my own. If I tried to kill you, right now, my gods would rip me to shreds for breaking my vows before I even touched you.

There are serious promises branded on my soul, and the only way that shit got into my system was by pushing me and my soul out of the picture entirely.

So... normally you can't kill anyone, ever, at the cost of your soul. You've got people who can vouch for that, then.

And then, because of what you are... to change your nature at all, the curse had to affect you differently than it did everyone else?

[It's far from the most satisfactory explanation... on the other hand, she has tons of people vouching for her.]

Normally I can't even hurt anyone, ever. A smack to the face when it's needed, but that's about it. The whole purpose of our order is to protect life, you don't get to sign up unless you mean it.

We're tapped in with life, all life, and that curse used the connection to the animals to make something hungry.

Alright... from what I've seen, from other people have said... and the fact that that would be a pretty complicated lie to try and handle, I'll believe you on that one.

So what's this 'something'? Or don't you know?

Everything hungry.

I mean it about being connected to everything, I can hear your skin cells dying from here if I feel like concentrating on it, but that's a hell of a thing to try to concentrate in this garden full of plants, who are also hungry, but they're not known for hunting.

So... what, you were channeling the hunger of every living thing here? Then why was this hunger taunting me? There was intelligence in there, and I want to know what exactly was talking to me.

Channeling isn't the right word, and you're forgetting a key ingredient to this cocktail. Mother monster wanted monsters and that's what she got. My connections and what her curse had to do to me just made it bigger and angrier.

[This still doesn't make much sense to her... but it's better than nothing.]

I'm... probably not gonna understand this all that well, honestly. As far as I can tell, though, it wasn't you doing that, and it wasn't your fault...

[And if it was, Larry's going to keep her eyes and ears open.]

Sorry you had to go through something like that.

It's my body, if I didn't have the strength to shut down Echidna, then it's damn well my fault.

[Oh, she catches it alright.]

Hey... I dunno what you normally have to deal with, but this Echidna is pretty powerful if she can do all this, right?

She's an angry goddess, we deal in angry goddesses. I've watched my little brother get on his hands and knees on behalf of cats and dogs without a second thought, while I wasn't quick enough on the uptake to protect an entire garden of women.

I've failed my mission, guess I'm just lucky my gods are the kind who give second chances.

People screw up... sometimes people get hurt or die because of it. I'm no different... it's what happens when you're a protector.

[She speaks from experience on this case, at least.]

I know what it's like to not be in control, Paderau.

And you know it doesn't clear up with apologies. You take your lumps and you learn from it.

[She nods.]

You're the last person who wants to forgive you...

If it happens again, can you stop it?

I don't know. In my own world, none of this would have had a chance in Hell of touching me. There are some things I can do, to raise my defenses, I'll have to see if they work.

I know I'm just a... a normal person, but if I can help at all...

Yakumo says she'll take care of it, so I guess my advice is wake her up if I can't contain it.

Right... I'll see if there's any fast way to get in touch with her too.

Here's to hoping we won't need the panic room.

...sure hope so.

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