5 | Video

[reverentresistance]

[Ky knows her last question didn't exactly go well, or get her the answers that she wanted, but this time it's not about religion, so it should go better, right?

She thinks about filtering it from Dizzy, but she doesn't need to hide from Dizzy that she's working on this, not when she'd promised Dizzy she would.]

What do you do when you know what you're feeling is wrong, in order to stop feeling it?

Just trying to focus on other things isn't working.

Comments

[tookupthesword]

It's a horrible habit of mine, and other people shouldn't have it.

[reverentresistance]

W-what do you mean?

[tookupthesword]

Well, not that I do this, but for example... let's say I used self harm as a way to stop. I wouldn't exactly want to make other do that, right?

[reverentresistance]

Ah, no, of course not.

But you should avoid doing something like that in the first place.

[tookupthesword]

Ah, it's not harmful to me. [Physically at least] I was just trying to play up something more obvious for why it would be bad to share.

[reverentresistance]

But if it's not harmful then it's a different matter, isn't it?

[tookupthesword]

Well, it's really just something for my own case...

[reverentresistance]

Now you have me curious.

[tookupthesword]

Ah, you shouldn't pry into others, without talking about yourself.

[reverentresistance]

I talk about myself plenty...

[tookupthesword]

... Right, okay.

[reverentresistance]

Is there something about me that you'd like to know?

[tookupthesword]

Nevermind, I should probably just leave it.

[reverentresistance]

I'm sorry. I don't understand what you want from me.

[tookupthesword]

... When I said "talk about yourself" I meant more as in, the reason for the question that started all this today?

[Filtered]

[reverentresistance]

Oh. Of course.

It's just... There's a girl from my world here, and... I like her. She likes me too, but I'm not even sure if it goes from friendship to romantic. It seems to, but she's very naive. She might just want to hold hands and that sort of thing because the context is different to her.

Meanwhile I have feelings for her that are certainly romantic, and sometimes...sexual as well. It's the sexual part that's a problem.

[Filtered]

[tookupthesword]

[Well, it's a good thing that Sayaka is like, the most okay with this stuff from her own group.]

Ah... well, I don't see what's wrong here exactly. Unless there's something else to this.

[Filtered]

[reverentresistance]

It's my desires. That's what's wrong.

[Filtered]

[tookupthesword]

Are... are you one of those 'celibates'?

[Filtered]

[reverentresistance]

Not by vow.

[But by practice...yes.]

[Filtered]

[tookupthesword]

... Which just means "yes" still, doesn't it?

[Filtered]

[reverentresistance]

It means I haven't, but...

That's a past behavioral choice, there's nothing binding me to it, beyond the fact that I don't see marriage on my plate any time soon. Particularly not here.

[Filtered]

[tookupthesword]

There are a couple different ways I could take that, and I'm not sure which is the right one to think...

[Filtered]

[reverentresistance]

It just doesn't mean anything, is all I'm saying.

[ There's a difference between being a virgin with no plans of sex in the future and being celibate. ]

[Filtered]

[tookupthesword]

Well, I guess your views on marriage really don't matter at the moment...

[She was thinking something else entirely.]