5 | Video

[reverentresistance]

[Ky knows her last question didn't exactly go well, or get her the answers that she wanted, but this time it's not about religion, so it should go better, right?

She thinks about filtering it from Dizzy, but she doesn't need to hide from Dizzy that she's working on this, not when she'd promised Dizzy she would.]

What do you do when you know what you're feeling is wrong, in order to stop feeling it?

Just trying to focus on other things isn't working.

Comments

[video]

[reverentresistance]

Inappropriate...feelings for someone who deserves better from me.

[undefines]

Inappropriate how? And why do you think they deserve better?

[Filtered]

[reverentresistance]

Inappropriately sexual.

Because I...She doesn't feel that sort of thing for me.

presumably filtered forever

[undefines]

...I don't get it. So the problem is that she doesn't reciprocate? That doesn't make it "inappropriate." It sounds like what your feeling isn't wrong, just inconvenient to you.

[reverentresistance]

It's wrong to think of her in such a context.

[undefines]

Why, though? Something can't be wrong just because it is.

[reverentresistance]

Because she's naive and because it would be easier for her if I didn't want anything more than she wants.

[undefines]

[Bluntly:] That's stupid. You wanting things doesn't hurt her, does it? As long as you're not forcing her into something, your feelings are your business.

[reverentresistance]

What I want affects what I'm thinking when she does things like wants a hug or a kiss, and can be unfair to her.

[undefines]

So? You're just thinking. If that on its own is bad, maybe you shouldn't be together with her in the first place.

[reverentresistance]

I...

Maybe not, but I think that would hurt her even more...

[undefines]

Have you even asked her how she feels about it? If either one of you is unhappy about something, you should try to talk it out instead of just ignoring whatever the problem is.

[reverentresistance]

I promised her that I'd get this under control.

[undefines]

So she isn't comfortable with it, then?

[reverentresistance]

I don't think so. She shouldn't be, certainly, so I'm not...upset with her by any means.

[undefines]

You probably shouldn't just decide what she should be comfortable with, you know.

[Speaking from experience? Being a hypocrite? Both? WHO KNOWS.]

[reverentresistance]

We've talked about it. The relationship is mutually on hold until I can control my proclivities better.

[undefines]

...No, I mean it. Are you really sure? Because telling someone how they should feel about something probably won't work out in the long term. [...] I don't know how you plan to "control" yourself better when all you're doing is thinking, anyway. Are you going to hit yourself on the hand every time you have that kind of thought or something?

[reverentresistance]

But the one I'm telling how I should feel is me.

I think my moral sense should be able to conquer sinful desires.

[undefines]

If you're not hurting anyone, I don't see how something like that is sinful, but okay.

[reverentresistance]

Our thoughts can still be wrong.

[undefines]

You're not thinking about hurting anyone, either.

[reverentresistance]

What I'm thinking about might hurt her.

[undefines]

...Ugh. [Sounding super exasperated there.] Well, whatever. I don't get it, but do what you want.

[reverentresistance]

I'm...sorry to annoy you.

[ Even if Ky doesn't really understand why she's annoyed. ]