０１８ ☠ voice

[jemerite]

I want to breathe. I am tired of being cold and empty. How much longer.

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[jemerite]

I knew they could... if they were too weak. To hold onto themselves.

[That's how she feels. Too weak. She can't wrap her mind around the idea of the incredible strength it takes her just to carry on.]

I was... not myself. I was a little girl. She was...

[Lively. Hopeful. Determined. Still so young. Zinc hasn't felt young in a long time.]

My memories were with the rest, yes.

[tosaveyou]

I didn't know that until I became someone else. [She smiles, sadly.]

I was someone else here, too. Someone stronger than I am. It was nice, for a little while.

[Not to have the pain.]

But I'd rather be myself.

[In spite of everything. Then, she's silent for a moment.]

There was a man. Named Barbet.

[jemerite]

It's nice, until it's gone.

[And now it's gone.]

...Barbet, yes. He keeps me.

[tosaveyou]

Yes. A little while. That's all.

[Unfortunately. It was over now.]

Keeps you? I saw that you--cared for him. He's an artist, isn't he?

[jemerite]

He is, he keeps... things like me. Cares for us, and makes us beautiful. I'm his best.

[She's his best piece, not a woman who used to desire him.]

I love him.

[tosaveyou]

That doesn't sound right...

[Kariya is wary of the "keeping" aspect. It's too much like other things, things she doesn't like.]

You're beautiful on your own.

But I know what it's like, to love someone. [It isn't always the right thing, or the best thing.]

[jemerite]

No, he always said... I was too perfect, for beautiful.

[Her head swings back and forth limply on her neck. No, no, no.]

[tosaveyou]

That doesn't make any sense. How can you be too perfect?

[The woman Kariya loves couldn't possibly be too perfect, so she doesn't really understand the concept.]

I'm sure you were always beautiful.

[jemerite]

I was perfect.

[Mournful. She's more than romanticized who she used to be, not so difficult when the memories are preserved inside of her, but... separate. Leaving her days of breath like a fairytale she only played at in make believe.]

[tosaveyou]

I'm sure you were. [Simple as the statement might be, Kariya means it. Not that Zinc was necessarily perfect in the traditional sense, but that she was herself, which was important--to Kariya.]

People are what they are. It's not anyone else's place to say that they're not beautiful, or that they're too perfect.

[jemerite]

[Not anyone else's place... Zinc remembers when she thought was true, but there's something that has edged its way in to her... Insecurity. Self-hate.]

Not their place, but... I don't believe in me either.

[If only Barbet could have told her something good about herself, she might have believed it. Instead she has all his criticism in her mind, mingling with her own disgust for the state she's in. She's weak, and he's right.]