Injection II, Strychnine [Audio]

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

[The entirety of the transmission, while honest, is rife with the Doctor's trademark deadpan snark.]

...To state the obvious, there is a pronounced lack of men here. I find I actually prefer it, and may have previously jumped to conclusions regarding the taste of our dear Queen.

Ahem! Good evening, Gardens. I believe we may have got off on the wrong foot. My name is Dr. Kiriko. Long ago I was a nurse in the military, and have since moved on to another specialty. But seeing as my first broadcast was immediately met with the fury of a handful of closed-minded individuals, this is not how I shall introduce myself today. 'Reaper' is not a convenient occupation in 'paradise,' and I have no intention of playing the doting nurse any longer.

Truth be told, I am somewhat of a chemist. Should you ever require a draught of some kind, contact me and I will do my best to provide. Remedy for illness, a sleeping potion, an aphrodisiac, a hallucinogen, tear gas, a smoke screen... my talents are broad. Given there is no common currency here, "payment" will vary across individuals... I am a reasonable woman, but please do well to remember that nothing in life is free.

Of course, those of you who are less inclined towards knee-jerk reactions... it will eventually be worth your while to also remember me as the Living Reaper.

One last thing. Some of you may have come in contact with the miser known as "Black Jack."

If I were you, I would do my best to avoid her.

[[ooc: responses may be delayed momentarily due to holiday plans!]]

Comments

[Video]

[tomboyishcandy.livejournal.com]

Oh, good, sho you won't have to kill anybody?! [Pinoko'll be friendlier, then!] What's a draught?

Miser? Shilly, Lady Doc doesn't catch miche! She's a pershon, not a kitty.

Re: [Video]

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

[Kiriko clicks her tongue in annoyance. The things Black Jack teaches this poor girl.]

I don't kill anyone who doesn't ask, little girl. But I have a feeling requests will be scarce here, so for now, no, I suppose not.

[She opens her mouth to answer her first vocabulary question, closes it and listens to the next, and then just stares at the screen. There is so much wrong with that statement.. didn't this child go to school? What had this girl done all day...?]

I... Nevermind. I don't expect you'll understand.

[Video]

[tomboyishcandy.livejournal.com]

You shouldn't kill anyone, even if they ashked! You should try to help them and never give up on them!

[She blinks, then frowns, puffing up her chest, then her reddening cheeks in indignantion.

If the manga's any indication, she does chores and watches anime, dramas, and movies all day long.]

How rude! Jusht try me.

Pinoko's an adult, Pinoko betsh she can undershtand anything you can. [She folds her arms.] Or are you shaying Pinoko's dumb? 'Cause Pinoko's not jusht a pretty fache, you know!

Jusht ashk Lady Doc!

Re: [Video]

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, yeah, heard it all before...

[This child was some sort of Lecture Machine, she could tell that much already.]

I didn't say anything of the sort. You're putting words in my mouth. I only figured you would jump to conclusions if I told you that a "draught" is dosage, in this case of chemicals, and a "miser" is a greedy penny pincher.

[1/2; video]

[tomboyishcandy.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh.

[Is that why?]

[2/2; video]

[tomboyishcandy.livejournal.com]

[Realization dawns upon her!]

Aaaah! You called my Doc a penny pincher, you jerk!

[heretolookhot.livejournal.com]

This is your attempt to sound less creepy?

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

[Kiriko blinks at the message in surprise. She thought she was being perfectly civil...]

...Yes...

[heretolookhot.livejournal.com]

You just offered us date rape drugs and tear gas.

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

[...The way Kiriko's mind works, she seriously did not even think of that.]

I said nothing about date rape drugs!! What people use my concoctions for is their own responsibility...!

[heretolookhot.livejournal.com]

What else are we doing with aphrodisiacs?

[video]

[existwithoutme.livejournal.com]

Males, females, races without gender... Does it matter? [Kuja waves a careless hand.]

There is no death here, and there seems to be no illness to speak of, unless a curse is involved. None of your concoctions will have any effect on one of the Queen's curses. I suppose some might have a use for the less benign substances, so at least you've offered goods that some might conceivably seek out.

[She has no need for any such thing, but she hopes others will. It would please her if people acted in ways the Queen didn't approve of, as she is no friend of the Queen.]

Re: [video]

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

In an ideal world, it wouldn't matter, certainly...

[But in her time, things were different. There were always chauvinist pigs. Men who tried to bring her status down a notch with the reasoning that she could not possibly be as powerful as she had become because she was female. The Noir Project springs to mind...]

Is that so? I see. We're in quite an fortunate place to be without disease, if what you say is true.[Despite being a Death Doctor, she seems happy.] But I see there is no cure for the Queen. Tragic.

Hm. I despise being of no use, so I sincerely hope I can surprise the ladies of the Gardens with just how effective their gorgeous little flowers can be when put properly to use...

[video]

[existwithoutme.livejournal.com]

It doesn't matter to me. [And this is the crucial point where Kuja is concerned, but the generals and monarchs and knights of her world are as likely to be male as female.] It's quite possible that it might not matter in a world that is far from ideal in other ways.

I've yet to see anyone fall ill here, except from one of the Queen's curses, and as you say, no one has yet discovered a cure for her. [If only.]

You interest me. [She smiles.] Tell me, what might their proper use be?

Re: [video]

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

...I don't know. Maybe some world out there will be so lucky.

[It's the sad truth that she can't imagine a world without discrimination.]

Well, I'm glad to know my dear Black Jack will be out of business.

Hm... [No one has said that to her before. But she will answer the question.] You see, the flower does not exist to be beautiful. Putting it on display is an insult. What some use for decoration are meant to be put to use, like any crop, especially in a place like this. Apple seeds contain cyanide. Nutmeg is a neurotoxin. Honey made from a garden azalea would have enough poison to kill a man. Tomatoes are of the nightshade family, and when unripe, contain atropine as its sisters. I'm sure you get the idea. The Queen has brought me to my own personal playground.

[video]

[existwithoutme.livejournal.com]

I have never found such things to be a problem in my world. [Of course, she is also a powerful magical construct.]

Ah, is this Black Jack a healer?

[She smiles.] Such a beautiful way of seeing to the heart of the flower, rather than letting your gaze merely linger on its petals. Yes, the deadliness of blossoms and berries makes them even lovelier, does it not? It might be interesting to see if the poisons are as effective in the Gardens, or if the magic of the Queen has nullified them.

And there's someone else here you should speak to. She sees plants in much the same way, but she makes monsters out of them.

[video]

[stayedwithher.livejournal.com]

...Interesting. But I have to wonder how useful draughts are against curses and magical creatures.

Re: [video]

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

[She's certainly got that right! But this unfortunate reminder that not everyone in the Gardens is from a world like her own somewhat annoys Kiriko. Not at this woman, but at herself, and her own newfound uselessness.]

Curses and magical creatures..? Shit, I had not given them a thought until now.

[video]

[stayedwithher.livejournal.com]

...Seriously? Well, this place is full of 'em, so it sounds like you're kind of screwed.

Good luck, though.

[video]

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

[She mumbles to herself before responding.]

...Tests. Perhaps I can do tests...

Ahem... Thank you. I can't say I've been wished luck in my endeavors before. I will do my best, especially to fix whatever shortcomings my medicines may have.

[video]

[stayedwithher.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're taking this well.



'Welcome. If you can get it to work, a medicine maker could be useful around here.

text/locked

[esoteric_rose.livejournal.com]

text/locked

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

Very well.

What is it that you are interested in, and how much of it do you need? Keep in mind that what I can provide extends beyond my examples.

text/locked

[esoteric_rose.livejournal.com]

Re: text/locked

[rhododendronic.livejournal.com]

...Consider it done. I'll have it made within the week.

I am obliged to inform you, of course, that since I will be providing you with several doses, an overdose would do more than put the "average sized adult" to sleep. Once these medications are out of my hands, I wash myself clean of whatever you choose to do with them. Please exercise caution.

And I do not mean to be hasty... but have you considered your "price?"