nine | video | (batgirl)

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

[ a vigilante wakes up in an alternate universe, suits up, and is promptly attacked by the Vine. Batgirl's barely tugged her cowl back on when the mirror leaps out at her, and for the first few seconds, the transmission consists mostly of spandex-clad hands wrestling with it, trying to turn it skywards ] Goddammit, don't you know that I'm only supposed to come out at night? What part of Dark Knight don’t you get? [ frustrated, she hits the front of the mirror. It doesn’t seem to mind, and just backs off, getting a full shot of her. Batgirl takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. Talking to plants is never a good way to start your day ]

… it's sentient. Don't try telling me the Vine doesn’t understand puns.

[ she straightens up, putting on her Serious Face ]

If this is another girls-only alternate universe, you guys are gonna have one pissed Bat on your hands. I'm not even kidding. I was just given a shiny new secret hideout full of futuristic gadgets that put the iPhone 4 to shame, a new car, a sidekick-slash-stalker, and I invented Magnaelectrogooparangs. I had Reapers to reap! I was going places! And now? Now this.

I need a roll call, the 411, and something shockingly unhealthy to eat.

Comments

[sororite]

Many people think they are fast enough to escape me, chèrie. They are wrong. Get thinking. And oui, I noticed, the spandex suits you. Turn around for me.

I told you she was a sensitive young woman... Mais, she is fine, because she is also very strong and has her maman to prepare delicious desserts for her. But that does not excuse your behaviour! A lover must be attentive!

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

No! No turning around for you, no matter how cute my butt is.

Look. You realise that I didn't wander into some cave and find a big “press here to go home” button, right? I didn't decide to leave. If people get to be pissed off about this, then I'm right at the top of that list.

[sororite]

I know you didn't, chèrie, calm down. But even if it wasn't your fault, your absence still upset chère Canada.

Now be a good girl and turn around.

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

I do feel crappy about it, for the record.

[sororite]

[Oh, Steph, you poor, naive fool.]

Good. Give her a hug, a kiss and a night of passionate love-making and everything should be fine. Ah, your front is quite nice too, I suppose. If you won't turn around, I'll stick to admiring that.

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna turn around now. I'm gonna turn around, and I want you to know that it's purely so I can ignore every word that just came outta your mouth.

[ ]

[sororite]

[Claps her hands.] Oh, magnifique! Ah, I see why Amérique adores her superheros so much now...

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

I know, right? The Superhero Committee doesn't actually let you take up a cape until your butt reaches a certain level of perfection. Spandex ain't for everyone.

[sororite]

It most certainly suits you.

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

Uh huh. So. Everything okay with you, France? No crazy transformations lately?

[sororite]

[Winces.] Saw some old friends. It appears we are being haunted.

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

Oh. Okay. So I've rolled straight back into fun and games.

How are you holding up? Anything I can do to help? I've never taken on ghosts before, but. Gotta give these things a go.

[sororite]

If it helps, I don't think they are the real thing. My Jeanne would never speak so cruelly to me and last time I checked Napoléon Bonaparte did not have breasts. I am not sure what can be done as of yet.

[Not answering how well she is doing. Because the answer is "not very".]

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

Oh, hey, I get that. I've had hallucinations before. Not exactly the same, but they're up there. [ ] The Jeanne? That's kind of awesome, in a way that totally isn't.

But if I'm gonna go find Canada, maybe I could swing by and give you a hug first. Just, y'know. So you can welcome me back.

[sororite]

Oui, Jeanne d'Arc. Or it is clearly meant to resemble her. She seems to have vanished by now, however.

I am a very welcoming woman! ... I would like that, chèrie.

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

Huh. Glad I missed out on that.

Gimme fifteen minutes, 'kay? Need to make sure my brain still remembers the layout of this place.

[sororite]

Oh, you never know, there might be enough time left for your own ghosts.

Good luck, Stephanie!

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

And on that cheerful note, I'm out. [ ] Yo.

[sororite]

Salut! [France approaches Stephanie cheerfully, greeting her with a kiss on each cheek.] You look wonderful, chèrie, the trip has obviously done you good.

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

What can I say? The Gotham sun is great for your tan. [ ] It's good to see you again. Despite the circumstances, or whatever.

[sororite]

[Hugs back, tightly.] It is good to see you too, Stephanie.

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

How long have I been gone, anyway? Are we talking days or weeks or month?

[sororite]

Weeks, as I understand it. I didn't have time to notice before Canada informed me.

[gravityfists.livejournal.com]

Just a few weeks, huh? That's not so bad. Bet you barely had time to miss me!

[sororite]

Nonsense, you were dearly missed, ma petite.