existential 008 [video]

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

[It is dusk, and the area behind Sephiroth is too dark to ascertain exactly where she is, but it is clear that she is alone, in a place where tall trees cast shadows. She seems thoughtful, but not overly emotional, perhaps even slightly detached, as she speaks.]

There is an idea that has been preoccupying me for some time. Once, I spoke to the Queen and one of her associates--or subordinates--and they said certain things to me that I have not been able to forget.

I was told that we have not truly been removed from our worlds, but that only a part of us has been taken, and while we are here, our other selves, our true selves, continue on in our daily lives.

It is possible that we are merely puppets, simulacra made for the Queen's use or entertainment, and not the people we believe ourselves to be. What if what was taken from us was a copy of our memories, which was then given to a false form? If so, when we leave this place, we will disappear. Our existence and our time here will have been meaningless. Those who have vanished and then return claim to have new memories from their own worlds, but what if they are nothing but new constructs with more stolen memories?

I know of no way to test this theory, but it troubles me. If that were the nature of our existence, I do not know if I would choose to exist.

Comments

[phobophage]

I don't appreciate being anyone's plaything, either. Here or at home.

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

Yes. It troubles me, but I do not know what to do. I wish some action could be taken, but I have no idea how to proceed, especially as nothing can be proven.

It is frustrating.

[phobophage]

That's the thing, isn't it. The lack of proof. You could say anything without proof. Like we're all secretly each other, or the worlds we remember coming from never really existed and this is all that really exists. Maybe we're the only true selves.

Theories like that're fun to think about, but they don't really get anywhere without proof.

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

Those theories are all possible, yet some things are more likely than others, and more supported by that which we have seen and experienced. My own theory does not come from nothing. It comes from months of observation, study, and interviews.

Just because evidence is sparse, that does not mean we should give up searching for meaning, for the truth. It does not mean we should do nothing.

[phobophage]

Of course one doesn't simply do nothing.

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

Then what do you do, if I might ask?

[phobophage]

You have only those mysteries to explore. I've been preoccupied learning about the Waking World.

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

[She is thoughtful.] That is not something you can ordinarily access? What kind of reality do you exist in?

Perhaps this is not the ideal place to learn about what you call the Waking World. It is atypical.

[phobophage]

I live in dreams. I've occasionally glimpsed the Waking World when someone's between waking and dreaming, but the nature of that perception's always altered by the dreaming. I'm really not likely to get a better chance than this. And I'm more concerned about figuring out how this world works than the details of my individual situation.

If I'm just a replica, the other me's welcome to do what she likes. I'll just do my own thing.

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

This is not like the waking world where I am from, so I am not sure if what you learn will educate you about anything but this particular closed and constructed reality, but I suppose it is more similar to the waking world than dreams are.

Figuring out how this world works is my concern, also, so we have the same goal.

I know someone else here who travels in dreams, or something of the kind.

[phobophage]

I'd be particularly interested in hearing about any differences from the waking world you know. Maybe then I can figure out if something I learn'll be interesting to you.

A Dreamer or a Dream?

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

This place is far more changeable and malleable than the world I know. Paths shift and trees move from day to day, and people can create objects and buildings merely by thinking. I'd be willing to answer any particular questions you might have.

The woman in question told me she could change dreams for the benefit of those dreaming them, to put their minds at ease, but I know little of such abilities.

[phobophage]

Waking reality's even more stable than this?