queenofheartsrp | existential 008 [video]

existential 008 [video]

[It is dusk, and the area behind Sephiroth is too dark to ascertain exactly where she is, but it is clear that she is alone, in a place where tall trees cast shadows. She seems thoughtful, but not overly emotional, perhaps even slightly detached, as she speaks.]

There is an idea that has been preoccupying me for some time. Once, I spoke to the Queen and one of her associates--or subordinates--and they said certain things to me that I have not been able to forget.

I was told that we have not truly been removed from our worlds, but that only a part of us has been taken, and while we are here, our other selves, our true selves, continue on in our daily lives.

It is possible that we are merely puppets, simulacra made for the Queen's use or entertainment, and not the people we believe ourselves to be. What if what was taken from us was a copy of our memories, which was then given to a false form? If so, when we leave this place, we will disappear. Our existence and our time here will have been meaningless. Those who have vanished and then return claim to have new memories from their own worlds, but what if they are nothing but new constructs with more stolen memories?

I know of no way to test this theory, but it troubles me. If that were the nature of our existence, I do not know if I would choose to exist.

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I also don't trust her, but as I was given the information, I should consider it.

The copies may be the same. I don't necessarily mean to question the worth of all copies. What I question is the utilization of this copy, the intent with which it was made, and the existence I have been forced into.

I would prefer to be reunited with myself, but if we can be rejoined, then we are not complete copies, but something else. [She has a possibly even stronger dislike of the idea of being divided.]

I wish to know why we are here and what we are. How are we resurrected so easily? I will not shy away from any idea simply because it troubles me. No hypothesis is truly provable here, but that will not stop me from considering them.

Weren't you kind of forced into Shinra stuff? Or is that different?

Hmmm... I guess. I'm not really sure how it'd work with people copies. I'm inclined to just say, "Well, it's stupid magic" and leave it at that, here.

[She frowns slightly.] It just seems like the kind of thing where, if you can't really do anything with it, why does it matter? I guess it's just easier for me to try and think about concrete things and all, because I suck at philosophy. I dunno.

Sorry, I'm not really helping.

Perhaps it is my upbringing that makes me react so strongly to the idea. I know what it is like to be kept in a closed environment, monitored, my reactions studied and recorded, for someone else's benefit. Those are things I chose to leave in my past. I do not care to be subjected to them again.

Sometimes the things we can do nothing about matter a great deal. They are worth considering, even if there is no answer.

There is no need to apologize. I wanted to hear others' thoughts. I would take no action based on mere supposition. I would need to see a great deal of proof first, but there is no data here.

Oh... yeah, that... that makes sense. I guess it's different for me just because it's a different kind of setting from my own, uh, stuff. Well, and this is sort of like high school, if you think about it.

I guess... I just feel like it's more productive to try and work on what I can, and maybe build up to other stuff.

Yeah. What kind of data do you think you'd need for this hypothesis, anyhow?

Sometimes I was put into a simulation to see how I would react. [She pauses thoughtfully.] I did not attend school, not in the way you mean, so I cannot say if your comparison is apt.

I don't think it's fruitless to consider the nature of our existence. If research were to be beneficial, shouldn't we have more comprehensive ideas about this place?

For a hypothesis like that, I am not sure. I have my own observations and information from others, but it's not enough.

That's messed up. [Another reason why Jessica would be happy to punch most of the scientists involved with Sephiroth!]

Hah, well... high school's supposed to be sort of preparing kids for Adult Life, but I really think a lot of it is just getting us all in once place all day away from everyone else and making sure we don't cause trouble.

Maybe it'd help, but I'm not really sure there's a way to figure it out. I guess we could compile some ideas of what you might expect in various situations and see if events line up with it...

Now that you mention it, that might be something to do, too...

[They deserve to be punched. But it's okay, they will be!]

My only comparable experience is the military. I have been in SOLDIER since I was approximately fourteen, but that is quite different from this. I prefer the order, the sense of purpose.

Yes, that could be useful, and we are in need of more ways to spend our time. Even if there is no way to conclusively prove the hypothesis, something might come of it. I will continue to attempt to understand this place, as long as I am here.

[PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH]

Yeah, I'm really missing the education stuff. Except maybe English class. That was kind of boring and pointless.

[It's notebook time!] So, what do we have so far... "Physically kidnapped from our" uh... "our places of origin," or "Puppet clones with installed memories." Oh yeah, and "Crazy virtual reality game," that's an option, too. Anything else?

It is possible that, instead of being copied, a part of our original selves have been taken, that we have been divided in some way.

I did hear it theorized that all our memories could be false and that we could be the only and original selves, our worlds nothing but concocted recollections. Inventing the details about so many different worlds and implanting them strikes me as needlessly elaborate, but it was a proposed theory.

[Sephiroth glances to one side, momentarily distracted, and then something metallic with a number of legs comes into view. It is vaguely spiderlike in shape and roughly the size of an Airdale Terrier. One of its legs is holding an apple, and it offers it to Sephiroth. She takes it.] It seems Faremis has found me.

"Partially kidnapped." However that'd work. And... I don't even know what to call that other one. "We Are All Completely Made Up," maybe?

Y'know, now that you mention it... she told me to think of it as a "vacation." Which, yeah, nice and vague.

Faremis? New pet?

Though she is unreliable, what the Queen said to me was that part of us had been taken. That that part could be our memories was an idea of my own. "We Are All Completely Made Up" is straightforward enough.

A vacation. That does seem to imply that she does not intend to keep us here indefinitely, yet she also says she needs us here. But again, she is unreliable.

Not precisely a pet. Faremis is the first robot I trained. I have been studying it, and I gave it a name to distinguish it from the other robots. It appears intent on remaining with me, though I am not sure why. It saw me destroy many of its comrades before I realized there was no need to destroy them.

Unless it's some kind of... I dunno, symbolic thing. I wouldn't put it past the people running this.

This is seriously like trying to train three puppies at once or something. All with different tricks. [She rubs her forehead.] I'm pretty sure the "completely made up" situation is unlikely, since... I mean, geez. That level of complexity would be insane. [The player: ded from meta.]

Maybe it figured out you weren't going to kill it. I don't think I'd ascribe any sort of usual, uh, morality or logic to them. It almost seems like they've got some kind of hivemind going on.

It could have been a symbolic statement, that is true. It is possible that we are taken physically from our worlds and later returned to the same time we were taken from. That would be the ideal possibility--if anything relating to this could be considered "ideal".

But yes, there are many possibilities to consider.

You're correct. I don't believe their thoughts are at all like ours. It did determine that I was not going to harm it, but I am not sure why it stayed when the others I trained returned, especially if they have a hive mind, as you theorize. Faremis was the only one of them which witnessed my hostility as well as my attempts to train it.

Yeah, if we'd just go back like nothing happened... [She's... actually not sure she agrees with that statement, now that she thinks about it.] I wonder if we'd remember it.

Maybe it just likes you. We've had some of the guys stick around at the fortress, too. I wonder if maybe they're keeping tabs on us.

It is possible that we will remember it. Unless the Queen feeds on memories in some way. If that is true, perhaps she wishes to create certain kinds of memories here which provide her with more energy when she takes them. That might explain her focus on certain kinds of activity. Though she could feed on affection or sexual or creative energy as well. I'm unsure, but she must have a reason for that focus.

It could be fond of me. [She regards Faremis thoughtfully.] It is continually bringing me fruit or attempting to repair my Headquarters. Perhaps they have remained to study us, as we study them. Or as ambassadors.

I think you might be onto something with that... [She adds in a margin "emotions/memories = food?"]

Maybe all of the above. They're really fascinating that way. I wonder if I ought to take a trip down there again and check things out more thoroughly.

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existential 008 [video]

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