queenofheartsrp | [ 1st ~ Video Post ] ~ here, there be spoilers

[ 1st ~ Video Post ] ~ here, there be spoilers

[A woman stands elsewhere in the Gardens, sporting a formal white dress. Or, at least, it is mostly white. Judging by the splatters on her neck, it should be pretty clear that the red is certainly not part of the dress.

Her gloved, bloody hand briefly comes up to her chest, as realization has flooded across her visage, before covering one of the fresher wounds over her abdomen. She moves away from the Vine, as communicating through such a mean is a very alien concept to her.]

“I think I would like a status report, but somehow I get the feeling that the answer is an obvious one...”

[Funny. For a woman who had been shot full of bullets, she seems to be getting by just fine. The pain is brief. Just a flesh wound. She’ll walk it off.]

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[Different timelines, changing the past for the outcome of a better future, missing parts of her memory—turning into a monster—it's all so strange to her. Even stranger than what's happened the past few years. Everything feels like a dream and her mind swirls, trying to catch everything she can to keep herself together. It's the frays of her sanity, the frustrations of the questions never answered—but she accepts her death, only to arrive to a place where they are here.]

Mn. [Her reply is distant. Gabrielle does not understand, but she accepts. We died, she wants to say—but even that's too much for her right now.]

[Aya turns her head up and stares at the void overhead with a half-lidded stare. She's cold. She isn't used to feeling this cold, but she is. And she wishes like hell that she could simply make it all go away. But nothing is ever easy. Not like that. Is there?

She speaks what Gabrielle does not:]

I've considered the possibility that I might be dead...

[It's hard for her to keep back the small surprised sound that she makes. It's something she knows, but hearing Aya say it herself strikes her right in the heart. It digs it's deep claws into her, like a bitter winter—like the creature that took her over.]

[The thought of Aya never returning. It settled so deep down inside her that it consumed her. The only person she ever trusted after Rebecca, the only person she fought for—protected—her death ultimately effected her in a way that she was unaware of until the moment.]

[Even with Aya's eyes not on her, she presses her lips into a smile. The mirrors surround her like a Looking Glass.]

You're still considering it? I've already accepted it for myself.

[Once again, she's silent. She acknowledges the experience; shattered, destroyed. The pieces of her soul scattered in fragments of destruction, programmed on the sheer voracious instinct to kill, kill, kill. Then there are the bullets piercing her. The one blow through her chest. And one small, final thought:

I don't want to disappear.]

I didn't feel death. It was... something else.

[Of course, how can you truly be sure what death feels like, if you aren't already dead?]

Like the whole world came crashing down—but you were okay with it.

[Something in the back of her mind tries to reveal itself; something she can't remember. Facing death had become so familiar to her; in the hostage force, alongside with Rebecca, accepting Aya's death the minute she realized that Eve was inhabiting her body, she had faced death and looked it straight in the eye so many times, but death itself... why did it feel so familiar to her?]

Accepting it because there was nothing else you could do.

[Fading away with no one to remember her—only a passing memory—but it was alright, because she lived in the memory of the ghost. It was not only a farewell to the young girl who could not remember her own being, but the woman who she had built a relationship with. Who she had seen die.]

[Have I died before? she wonders.]

Something like that... sure.

[Was she really okay with it? Aya can't say that for certain. What she does know is that she has no regrets about the decision that she's made. Save for, of course, not being able to finish her vows, be with her family, be there for Eve and watch over her and Kyle...

So, without really lying to herself, technically that meant that she just regreted everything.]

There was nothing else I could do...

[Aya echoes; if only for the sake of just telling herself that. Maybe it'll be true eventually.]

You're selfish, you know that? [Her tone is not patronizing; nor is it cold. In fact, her voice is soft and warm—understanding. Gabrielle's understanding of Aya's feelings for sacrificing herself for those she loves is immense, and yet, she also knows that no matter how the two try to convince themselves that it's selfless, in the end, they are just as selfish as everyone else.]

[Gabrielle accepts it, just as she accepts her death. There is nothing more for her to go back for, when the only person she ever felt herself closest to is here right in front of her. Gabrielle's own selfishness consumed her, turned her into the dark creature inside of her.]

[Even here, in the middle of the Gardens, following her, she knows that it's even more selfish that she doesn't want to go back to that loneliness she had faced for so long. After all we did, she wants to say.] It's pointless to think you can change something like that... no matter how hard you try.

[Aya doesn't take Gabrielle's criticism to heart. She smiles briefly, and shakes her head.]

You're wrong, Gabrielle. Things did change. In more ways than you can even imagine...

[Be it for the better or for the worst, she doesn't know. Glimpses of the world that she created, the reality that holds itself together on paper threads are still fresh in her mind. A world where "she" doesn't exist; where only few know "her" name. A world that's disjointed, foreign--strange. A world that has no place for someone like her.

You have to aim here.

If they don't remember, "she" does; maybe that means that someday they will know, when those thin threads can't just hold themselves together anymore. Selfish? Maybe. But necessary. Or so she'd like to believe.]

I'm wrong? [Her tone starts to become bitter—after all she's done for Aya, she has the nerve to tell her she's wrong. Her death is what caused the spiral, what caused Gabrielle to turn into such a monster, and for Aya to tell her that she's wrong about struggling off death is insulting.] After all I done—

[But she stops there. After all I've done to protect you, she adds in her mind. She knows Aya doesn't know what's happened the past three years, what Gabrielle's done to try and keep Aya alive, how the shell of her best friend killed her because it was the right thing to do. Because her friend's death shot into her like a knife, carving it's way in deeper.]

[Her voice is low, cautious.]

You're not the only one who's died, Aya.

I know I wasn't. And I know a lot of lives were lost because of me. I know that, because of what happened, the lives of the people I loved were changed. Warped.

That's why I changed it.

[Gabrielle had no way of knowing that, would she? She wasn't there in Time Zero. After all, she was the one guarding that point in time. Barring both Hyde and the Twisted from making their way back to Aya.

Scattered pieces brought back together. She's aware. She knows. She realized what she had to do. Even if it costs her own life.]

It's over. Hyde Bohr is dead. I killed him before Time Zero had the chance to exist.

[Not to mention, she killed Eve as well.

While she was inside the girl's body.

Save that story for another day...]

[Her mind spins; tries to keep up with Aya's words, but it's impossible. A shift in the timeline—Gabrielle knows very well that changing the past to effect the future does, but the horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach takes over her.]

[It's an overwhelming feeling—realizing that she had been manipulated by the man who picked her for the team, by someone she had joked around with, and while she had not open herself up to anyone but Aya, she still felt the crushing weight of betrayal on her shoulders. It's far too familiar of a feeling for her, but this time there is no one to blame but herself.]

Then— [Grasping for words, Gabrielle could feel the tension in her throat. It was that feeling all over again—the girl, the monster Gabrielle became, begging for death—but this time she can't wrap her mind around it. It's too much for her to bear.] It was all for nothing.

[With her long, elegant fingers (trigger control, the weight of the rifle in her hand—Whatever the cost may be) Gabrielle buries her face into her hands and for the first time in three years; she begins to sob.]

No...

[The words are liquid. Seeing the tears flow. Gabrielle's words. The world morphs into vapors of smoke. Her eyes shift; a bloody hand reaches out, to pull Gabrielle's away from her face as Aya smiles distantly.

They are here. And she is a lifetime away from reality.]

No, it was the complete opposite of nothing--it was everything. Without you, without everyone... getting to Time Zero wouldn't have been possible. I would still be shattered and lost. Everyone would still be dead.

Wasn't that the while point of going back, anyway? To change the past? Because I've seen it. It's changed. And so is the future. Because of you.

Thank you, Gabrielle.

[Gabrielle almost turns away (if this were any other time, she would be embarrassed about her mascara running), but she stares Aya straight in the eye.]

I watched you disappear— [She doesn't pull away from Aya, but even with the live hands touching her own Gabrielle remains distant. She feels so far away from reality—further away from Aya than she's ever felt before.] Every day I walked in there knowing she wasn't you. I watched Cray die. I turned into something I can't even begin to explain...

[The thank you nearly breaks her heart. She wants to rip her hands from Aya's and ask her why? Everything seems so mixed up, like the pieces of a brand new puzzle in it's box, her mind is clouded. Memories missing—things she can't explain. It frustrates her being in the dark like this. Isolated, alone.]

Even if you saved the world... us. None of that changes!

Maybe, but don't go saying that it was all for nothing. Not ever. I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for you--for everyone.

It's true, I disappeared. I was lost. I was alone. We all were. But not anymore.

[For as much as Gabrielle wishes to tear her hands away from Aya, the bride's grip only tightens, lifting their hands up a little.]

Do you feel this? We're warm. We're alive. We're not dead. It worked. Even if you carry the burden of remembering how it used to be, the past is different now. It's changed.

Or would you rather forget?

Yes. No—

[She knows they are alive—at least, here. The Gardens is full of life; flowers blooming, birds singing songs from the trees, even the cat that had kept it's gaze on her—they were all alive. Compared to the devastation back home, it seemed so beautiful and flawless. Something untouched by disease, monsters. Her head throbbed, trying to make sense of it all.]

[She cannot pull away—nor does she want to. The only person she trusts with all her being stands right in front of her, alive and well. It tears her up from the inside, a feeling of guilt washing over here, but the frustration of not knowing why makes her even angrier (sadder? bitter? —there were too many emotions to choose from).]

[As if she had not begun to break her perfect mask in the first place, she faces Aya. Looking her straight into the eye—but her expression does not read anger, it reads warmth. A beautiful kind of sad.]

I don't want to forget you.

[And sometimes, it feels like she is. Memories slipping from her mind—ones she can't recall or ever remember. And yet, the only thing she can remember sometimes is Aya's face.]

Edited 2011-05-15 14:30 (UTC)

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[ 1st ~ Video Post ] ~ here, there be spoilers

action; damn right you would

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