First strike

[guardiandragon]

[There's a sigh emanating from the other end of the vine.] ...I'm talking into a plant. Great. Wish I could say this was the weirdest thing that ever happened to me, but what the fuck ever.

May as well just make myself comfortable until I wake up or the cavalry gets here. Whichever comes first. You guys have fun with your whole hippie commune thing you got going here.

[There's one more annoyed grunt, and the distinct sound of a flower being crushed before cutting out. She's not in the most talkative mood, clearly.]

Comments

[voice]

[tookupthesword]

Language, language, we have children here.

[Coming from a voice that doesn't sound all that old...]

[guardiandragon]

Well, you're what, twelve? You don't seem too bothered.

[tookupthesword]

Well, I'm certainly not the youngest person here.

[guardiandragon]

They really did take kids, too? Sons of bitches have no shame...

[tookupthesword]

There's no sons here... daughters only.

[guardiandragon]

...I don't get it.

[tookupthesword]

Umm... girls only? Love between them too?

[guardiandragon]

Er... can you clarify that a little more?

[She's aware what it means, but that doesn't really tell her why she's here or what it has to do with anything. That and denial is a powerful thing.]

[tookupthesword]

... Okay. There's no guys here. At all. Never will be. You're a girl, and just might be expected eventually marry someone else here.

[guardiandragon]

[Sounds like Chizuru would be behind this if she was smart enough.]

...That has to be the stupidest reason to kidnap anyone I've ever heard. That's not even how marriage works.

[tookupthesword]

[She takes that as a challenge. If anyone can think up something dumber, it's Sayaka, and she knows it.]

I lied, you were actually taken to participate in a cutting board competition. Not them being used, but just what they look like and you have to find the best looking. They all look the same. But don't say that, you'll hurt their feelings.

[guardiandragon]

No, no, keep trying. I'm sure you can make up something even stupider.

[She catches on quick, at least.]

[tookupthesword]

You're being forcibly signed up to be a magical girl. I'm Azure Mermaid.

[guardiandragon]

That's actually less stupid than some of what I've seen.

[tookupthesword]

We were all taken to drink tea, fly and shoot each other with mind bullets.

[Wait, wrong series...]

[guardiandragon]

If you're guessing at the story of my life, you're getting warmer.

[tookupthesword]

[An irritated noise come from the other side.]

This is the real world, the one you were in before was just make believe and you have been chosen to see the light.

[guardiandragon]

Let me guess, I'm the One, and I'm going to lead the uprising against our mechanical oppressors.

[tookupthesword]

Close. It's clowns.

[guardiandragon]

[Gasp!]

Not... not clowns!

[tookupthesword]

Alien clowns.

[guardiandragon]

Oh. Well, that's fine then.

[tookupthesword]

... Okay, okay, but really, how is this place to stupidest reason for kidnapping?

[guardiandragon]

The stupidest I'd heard. I'm sure there's stupider that I haven't.

Usually, it's for something like ransom, or part of an overly convoluted plot for world domination or something, not to play out some weird yuri fanfic or whatever.

[tookupthesword]

... World domination?