queenofheartsrp | [Audio + Action]

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[ Not that anyone knows where she is... or so she hopes...

No, Kris could probably find her again if she wanted. That was why she'd taken the ring off, buried it for safe keeping if she ever felt like she could get away with it again. That might help. But Subaru would take a while to find Katina on the edge of the gardens. The sorry excuse for a tent she'd put up was camouflaged, proper military style, and she'd only barely found enough to eat and drink to not fall ill or drop dead.

...a vine was poking into her tent, the sort that carried messages. She tapped it.

There was breathing, heavy breathing from the other end of the vine, probably a good minute that felt like a good year or so to Katina. No matter what happened, people deserved to know that she was alive, right? Then they could do... whatever.

More breathing. ]

I can't... I can't do this...

[ And then silence. Maybe she'll see what the Queen does if she starves a few times - any other consequences can't be that bad right? ]

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[ There are a lot of people who have told Subaru not to worry, and it never stopped her. But never has she quite had the urge to retort before. Maybe she's just tired of having her emotions invalidated like that. Saying "don't feel guilty" doesn't erase guilt. "Don't be mad" can't make someone just flip off their switch. ] Call me selfish if you want, but that isn't good enough for me.

I'm coming. Please, wait for me.

I'll be here.

[ She can't take this. She just wants to avoid them, and not think, and not have to worry about anything. ]

[ This might be dumb. This might top the list of dumb decisions Subaru has made. But it remains that it is something she decided and Katina didn't deny her, so she'll be headed that way in her typical, swift order.

...now if only she had thought to ask more details, she wouldn't have to be searching so hard.

Eventually, she drops down to the ground and attempts to summon the vine over so that she can call Katina back and ask for more specific directions. ]

[ Hey, it gives Katina more time to steel herself. Or maybe Subaru will have enough time to change her mind. That would be nice - running away from her problems is a good time.

She hasn't moved anywhere though. ]

[ There's very little to be done to change Subaru's mind once it has been made up. She speeds along the ground, thinking that if she can't find it near this forest, maybe there's some other place to look. But that's... something odd standing out against the line of underbrush, isn't there? ] Hello?

[ And lo, a few moments after that, a blond head pokes out from something odd. ]

...you found me.

[ In that instant, there is a flicker of something on Subaru's face — accomplishment? Joy? ] I have good— [ She skids to a halt nearby and it is just by the woman's face alone that she can tell things are not O.K. ] —eyes... [ Now she's just more concerned than she sounded before. She's out of her skates in a flash and takes a step forward, hand out. ] You don't look well.

[ Oh, at least someone is feeling an iota of positive emotion here. ]

...no shit.

[ She's already pale and losing weight and her hair is basically a broom. It's obvious that she hasn't slept much either. ]

Sorry. [ Captain Obvious here stops just shy of actually reaching out and touching the woman. Tough as it is to restrain herself, she isn't sure of boundaries anymore. It's not something that would have stopped her before. ] How... long have you been out here? More than a few days. [ Subaru answers her own question when she recalls survival and rescue training and real-world scenarios. She's seen some people who had been buried under rubble for days; some were found still clinging to life and others...

There was that fear, again. ] You need food. And rest!

[ If she hadn't done anything horrible, and was just in a shitty situation for any other reason... she'd have probably already thrown herself at Subaru if Subaru was hesitating.

But now... she can't. ]

...I've been eating enough to get by.

Katina... [ Has Subaru ever looked so disappointed in all the time they've known each other? Hardly.

She tries to avoid looking at the woman and take in their surroundings, instead, but her eyes just won't leave her for long. She is THAT worried. ] Why are you staying out here, like this?

[ ...that look's not as bad as the look on her face that night, but it still hurts. ]

Why do you think? C'mon. Take a guess.

[ Katina knows that Subaru isn't actually dumb, no matter what she says. ]

[ Rightly so, Subaru can be dense, but she knows a few things. ] You didn't have to go through this just to avoid us. You could... have just said you needed space. You still can.

[ Subaru started rubbing her gloved hands together which was better than the fidgeting she had been doing. ] But if you're like this, I don't feel right leaving you alone. Not unless you had someone else to help you. I can't ignore what's going on in front of me.

It's not that I just... need space.

...I can barely face anyone, let alone the two of you. [ Katina doesn't even have the energy to fidget, utterly drained. ] Yet here you are, all... worried about my safety before anything else...

After what I did.

That's because I believe in you. [ If she hadn't talked to Akiha, and confirmed a few things for herself, she wouldn't have been able to respond so swiftly with that affirmation. ] Things went bad, and I still don't understand everything, but I just have this feeling that we were all out of our heads that night.

[ Subaru catches herself and shakes her head swiftly. ] No. You're not feeling your best right now, so it's not fair to bring it up. We should talk about it later.

I just can't believe...

[ After all that... Akiha and Subaru...

...look how much they want to see her. How much they care about her. Then she went and did that to them? ] Give me just... a day or two to pull myself together a little. Akiha's gonna drag me back by then if I don't do it myself anyways.

[ This is just the kind of person Subaru is. She isn't about to give up on Katina just because there was some misunderstanding. She'll have a chance to prove herself but, right now, what matters is that she isn't going to wither away.

Though what the woman said surprises her. ] ...you talked to Akiha?

[ It's one of the things Katina really likes about Subaru. Now, it's one of the things that frustrates her as well. ]

Yeah, and would you believe it, she didn't even rip my throat out.

[ Subaru puts a hand to her own neck and gives the woman a nauseated look. Please don't give her that kind of mental image... ]

...sorry.

[ Apparently, someone you care about talking about horrible violent things is worse when those things could happen. ]

[ On any other day that would have just been met with a "Akiha wouldn't do that!" and maybe an awkward laugh at the idea.

This is not the time for it. ] It's... [ Subaru stops. It's not "okay" by any means. ] You didn't mean to. [ Or so she hoped. Subaru brought that hand around and into her hair. ] If you need more time, I understand but... I can't help thinking you won't be taking good care of yourself. [ There really is no way to deliver that opinion softly. ]

[ Didn't mean to scare Subaru? She didn't really. Katina sure meant to be morbid though. ]

...I'm alive, and I'll be alive when I come back in a day or two. Then you can feed me whatever you want to.

[ The thought of doting on Katina honestly brought a small smile to Subaru's lips. ] Do you promise?

I promise on what little shred of honor I have left.

Okay. [ That goes without further saying, because she doesn't feel right forcing Katina to do anything, or scold her. They all need some time to heal, and if this is how the woman chose to do it... what could Subaru say to convince her otherwise?

She turns halfway away, the skates already rumbling to life. ] I won't be at the mansion, so... just come to the inn when you're ready. There's still plenty of room. [ i.e.: it's still as empty as always. ]

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