❧ ninth stanza [action]: mother of monsters

[histrionic]

[Having regained her own body, Kuja feels--not content, but herself again. For good or ill. Part of her loathes herself, but she is an egotist at heart. A self-hating narcissist.

That, however, is not as important as what she's been busy doing. While kidnapped by the pirates, Kuja had found an egg on board their ship. A familiar egg. The egg of a Silver Dragon, from her world. Since her discovery, she has been largely keeping to herself and keeping the egg warm, and her constant companion Tropius has taken over the duties whenever she is otherwise occupied.

Now, Kuja is out and about. She feels a sense of excitement. She can sense the egg will be hatching soon. Her egg. Her dragon.

She floats from place to place, accompanied by Tropius and the egg: she sits for a while outside her miniature replica Iifa Treehouse near the lake, then makes an appearance in the Orchard and at her own personal library. She's usually not so prone to make "public appearances", but she's in a good mood, for once. Sometimes the egg rests in her lap; sometimes it's cradled with care by Tropius, and sometimes it floats beside her, levitated by her magic. Wherever it is, it sparkles with blue light, warmed by Kuja's magic. She sings softly to the egg at times, and at times she reads it poetry, or excerpts from her favorite plays.

Kuja keeps an ear out for stirring inside, or the cracking of the shell. For once, preoccupied, she's not as likely to notice someone else's approach.]

Comments

[histrionic]

That, too, depends on the animal.

I would say, overall, that they are less cruel. When they harm someone, it is usually an act of nature rather than of malice.

[mother_of_god]

[She nods, the start of a smile on her lips.]

The people here are nice.

i wonder why so many people are mean.

[histrionic]

Yes, many of them are, but not all.

[Like her. She's not nice.]

Why are people cruel? Because they're angry, or lonely, or bitter. Or because they're afraid. Or maybe because they were born cruel and it is their nature to be so.

[mother_of_god]

[Kuja you are totally nice you haven't yelled at or hit Alessa once yet! ...yeah, she has low standards.]

You mean even if they were happy, they'd be cruel?

[histrionic]

[Those are some low standards, considering what Kuja's capable of.]

I don't pretend to know why those who are happy may also be cruel.

[Since she's miserable, herself.]

But sometimes it does happen. Perhaps they lack whatever it is that makes kindness possible.

[She wonders if she lacks that thing.]

[mother_of_god]

i wonder why God didn't fix that, too... i guess she didn't care.

what're you gonna name it?

[She means the egg. Segues are for the weak.]

[histrionic]

Don't be silly, child. There is no god.

[Kuja is likely to call anyone who is being foolish "child" or "dear".

She's able to follow the lack of segue.]

Hmm. I will wait until she hatches to decide. No need to decide on a name until we've met.

[mother_of_god]

[She gets a puzzled look.]

There is. ...maybe not anymore. Daddy killed her. But i think she can come back.

We had a bird. It was really pretty.

[histrionic]

If a god can die, it isn't what it claims to be. Even if it comes back. Just because something says it is a god, that doesn't mean it is. It might simply be a very powerful entity.

I had so many creatures. All my monsters. And a fleet of dragons, silver and fine.

[mother_of_god]

[Further confusion] ...all gods can die. There isn't endless time anymore.

You had monsters?

[That sounds kind of scary, Kuja.]

[histrionic]

How can a mortal creature truly be a god?

The only things called gods are those who proclaim themselves to be so. A creator, a unifying being, that doesn't exist. The very universe disproves it.

Yes, many of them, as I said.

[Kuja's very scary, and she's the worst monster..]

[mother_of_god]

She makes things... gods and angels. she wants to make Paradise, but she can't unless she comes back alive.

Weren't they scary?

[histrionic]

Making things alone doesn't make one a god. It's simply a title some like to claim, to aggrandize themselves.

Not to me. I controlled and spoke to them. Why would I fear them?

[mother_of_god]

Then what else is there?

[Alessa's experience with gods is that they are, in fact, just powerful entities, who happen to be gods for... some reason nobody's bothered to explain. Her world is one of arbitrary rules.]

They were your friends?

[histrionic]

There are individuals. What else need there be?

[Friends? She hadn't had any friends. Friends were something Zidane had.]

They were my companions, my servants.

[At this, Tropius moves her neck and leans over to nuzzle Kuja. Kuja looks mildly annoyed, but she isn't, really.]

Yes, yes.

[mother_of_god]

[Her face crinkles as she tries to puzzle out this philosophy. Individualism has not been a big part of her life thus far; most everything was determined by group allegiance, or at least being ostracized from said groups.]

i don't understand... what about families, and... and churches? And classes.

[She smiles a bit at Tropius. Definitely friends. Kuja is totally a nice person.]

[histrionic]

All those things are made up of individuals, are they not? Even in groups, the individual is key. There would be no many without the one.

[Kuja is so not nice. But fortunately no one is calling her nice, so she can't vociferously disagree.]

[mother_of_god]

[More pondering]

i guess... It feels like they turn into something else when there's a lot of them.

i'm glad we don't have church or school here.

[histrionic]

Oh, a group does have its own kind of life, but it needs the individual. And groups can change and grow, singly or in pairs. And there is always the possibility that the one may split off once again and go its own way.

[mother_of_god]

[Nod]

It's dangerous, though.

[histrionic]

Dangerous? Life itself is dangerous. [Kuja twirls her fingers, her long nails flashing.]

But you're right, large groups can be treacherous, and the larger they are, the more power they have. Religions, nations, worlds...

[mother_of_god]

[She regards Kuja quietly.]

Were people mean to you?

[histrionic]

Mean? To me?

[She laughs. What an odd question, and not one she's considered, not in those terms. Yes, she was treated cruelly.]

You could say so, I suppose. But it's all right. I was mean to them.

[mother_of_god]

[A frown.]

Why?

[histrionic]

Why not?

Oh, various reasons. But I was treated poorly, and others deserved poor treatment in turn.