[Good morning, Ladyguardens. Hope you were awake, because if you weren't, you certainly will be, as you're about to be greeted by a shriek going off through the vines.

A good, long, ear-piercing shriek, followed by this message:]

RUBY! IRIS! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS? HELP ME, I'M NOT GOOD AS A SOLO HERO! WE ARE SO MUCH BETTER AS A TRIO.

[There's a pause, the speaker seemingly taking a breath.]

My diphtheria is acting up again. And I don't think these flowers are hypoallergenic. This isn't safe. Everything is too sunshiney here, there's cats that aren't dead and singing birds and...and...it's like Friday the 13th all over again.

Either I've truly been kidnapped against my will, or this is an incredibly vivid hallucination brought on by consuming too many of Skullboy's home-made pierogies. And they all said I was the bad cook.

[Another pause, this one a tad bit longer.]

If you two actually aren't listening, then...if anyone who is sees a doll-girl with red hair or a tiny cyclops with a hyperactivity problem, please find them and tell them Misery is here and needs her first-aid kit.